Halloween and a Football Game

Here are a few pics from Halloween and Caleb's first Aggie football game...

Levi dressed up as Robin (we couldn't get him to stand still for a picture...imagine that!):

Caleb and his cousin, Ava, holding hands while trick-or-treating:

Caleb and Daddy at the football game (Caleb asked about every 5 minutes, "It is over?"):


Levi on the way home...I had given him a little piece of chocolate chip cookie. He really enjoyed it!

PICTURES!!!

I got up at 5am to go to the gym and was back, dressed and ready for the day at 6:30. I've also done two lessons in my Bible study (I'm behind), had breakfast and coffee. It's only 8:30am; this is truly a record of some sort. It's amazing what I can get done if I get up early, i.e. before the kids. Let's hope this continues! I've realized that I AM the fat friend, so I'm on a quest to lose this awful "depression drug-induced" fat!

Anyway...on to the pictures!

Caleb's 3rd Birthday. He got to choose one present to open that morning. It was a backpack and matching lunchbox. Not very exciting for a 3-year-old, so he wanted another present. :-)

His family birthday party at GattiTown. Here he is with two of his presents...a bicycle helmet and Little Einsteins laptop...

Levi's First Birthday! I don't have a picture of him eating the cake (maybe my mom does), but here he is with pizza. :-)

Levi at Caleb's party...
Caleb had his party at an inflatable fun house. We combined his party with a friend of his whose birthday was the same week...same friends to invite, only one party to attend!

Here's Levi with his BFF, Caroline. She is two weeks older than him and both sets of parents would be fine if they grew up and married each other. :-) They're adorable!

Levi hiding BEHIND the entertainment center. He's going to be a handful!

I'll post soon the pictures from our cruise. If I can find any that don't involve me in a swimsuit that is!

Where Has the Time Gone?

The last few weeks have been a little crazy around here. After my last post, Justin and I went on a cruise. It was WONDERFUL!!! We're firm believers that our marriage is the most important relationship in the house and it needs constant attention. We're also blessed that my parents could keep the boys for a week. (My mom needed a vacation after that!) We sailed to Jamaica, Grand Cayman, and Cozumel. It was great, and I even got a little tan. And lots of sleep. (Not a lot since because the boys are back! Why couldn't we have kids that sleep??)

Levi is fully walking now. And he's fast! He still isn't talking much...well, he isn't saying much that we actually understand, but verbal he is. And loud. Very loud.

He also has no teeth. 13 months and not a single tooth. The doctor says that they don't worry about them having no teeth until they're two. I think that's weird, but it means Levi is normal, so whatever.

We got official word that the move to Singapore will happen next July. LOTS to do before then! We had a garage sale this weekend to start the purge process. It felt good.

Well, off to bed until one of the boys wakes up for unknown reasons. I'll try to get some pictures of our vacation and some recent ones of the boys up here soon.

Carpet

Just wondering if anyone knows how to get diaper cream out of carpet. It's Desitin original, the really thick, greasy stuff. I love age 3.

While I was on the phone, Caleb was in the other room emptying a tube of diaper cream all over himself and the carpet. It might be funny in a few days. Right now it just makes me angry because on Monday he smeared a container of Laughing Cow cheese (the soft kind) into the carpet.

Our carpet is already nasty from the dogs and juice spills and who knows what else, and we're going to have to replace it anyway before we put it on the market, but SERIOUSLY I'm tired of cleaning stuff out of it!!!

So, how do I get the stuff out?

The Boy Stuff

When I use an asterisk in place of a letter, it's because I don't want people who'll use Google to search for yucky stuff to end up here! FYI. It's not because I consider it a bad or dirty word. It's just that people can be sent to my blog if they search for that particular word and I've typed it out. I don't want those people reading about my kiddos or seeing their pictures!

Since I didn't have a brother growing up, all this boy stuff is quite a new experience for me!

Here's Caleb's and my conversation on the way home from Mother's Day Out (this is all we talked about!):

Caleb: Mommy, do babies have p***ses?
Me: Baby boys do.
Caleb: Do babies have p***ses?
Me: Yes, Caleb, baby boys have p***ses. Only boys do, not girls.
Caleb: Does Levi have a p***s?
Me: Yes, Caleb, Levi does.
Caleb: Do you have a p***s?
Me: No, only boys have a p***s Caleb.
Caleb: Only boys.
Me: Yes.

I'm not sure why he asked this as soon as he got in the car, but he had probably gone potty before I picked him up and it was on his mind. Who knows.

I cannot tell you how many times I've said the word p***s lately. Seriously, it's enough to make me want to go get a pedicure or do some other really girly thing. I'm glad we're using the anatomically correct terms and all, but good grief I'm tired of talking about it! I guess this is just the beginning of the body humor and other lovely things boys talk about.

I can't wait.

Birthday Fun and Other Stuff

Last week Caleb turned 3 and Levi turned 1. I tried to do a birthday post on Caleb's birthday Friday afternoon, but our power went out again right in the middle of it. It was out for an hour and a half, and we were already in College Station celebrating (since nothing in Houston was open!), so the blogging moment was gone. Our power went out for 2 hours yesterday afternoon, but we weren't home.

I'm not in the mood for a sappy, emotional post about my boys getting older. I love them dearly, and it's such a joy to watch them grow and develop. Caleb asked me the other day where God lived. That's a tough one to answer in theology a 3-year-old would understand, but I tried to explain that He's in heaven and right here all at the same time. Since Caleb's been having a hard time getting himself to sleep lately, we've talked a lot about how God protects us and keeps us safe. The doctor said at his check-up that his intellectual maturity is ahead of his emotional maturity, and that's why he's been getting scared at night. He said they usually see kids realize that things are scary around age 4. He's put himself to sleep at least once this week and has slept in his own bed all night long for 2 nights now. We're hoping it's a pattern!

Levi is walking, but not exclusively. He's such a fast crawler that I think he just wants to forego the falling and crawl everywhere. He's walking a lot more now and getting better balance. We got him on video saying "mama" on his birthday, but he usually refuses to say it. If I say, "Levi, can you say mama?" he gets a big grin on his face and says, "dada." Stinker!

It's official that we're moving to Singapore. According to the schedule we're slated to move next June. We think it'll probably be July, though. That's what we're planning for, anyway. So, now we have a lot of work to do in order to sell this house. A HUGE garage sale is in order for the middle of October. I can't wait! And then there's replacing the carpet, painting, repairing screens the dogs ruined, sodding the yard the dogs tore up, etc. We have a lot of work to do! We're praying that the house sells quickly, even if that means we'll need to move into an apartment or some other temporary housing for a while. I just don't want the stress of an unsold house when we move around the world.

Do you have a gallon of milk?

Then consider yourself lucky! We told Caleb yesterday at dinner that if he ate his peas, we'd go for ice cream after church. What were we thinking? We drove around trying to find any place open that had ice cream...fast food, grocery stores, any place! The grocery stores around here have limited hours, which would have been nice to know before we were trying to find stuff. We finally ended up at Target, and all the refrigerated foods were gone! They had a limit on how much milk you could buy (one per family), and there were only a handful of half gallons of skim milk left on the shelves. They did have some ice cream, too, so we got some of that as well. That's all Caleb really cared about!

It was CRAZY, let me tell you, trying to grab a half gallon of milk at Target at 8:30 on a Wednesday night. Kroger is opening at 9am and we need some groceries, so I'm going to get the kids out and try to find some. A couple of days ago they were limiting the number of people who could be in Wal-Mart and the grocery stores at one time, so people were waiting in line outside. We'll see if they're still doing that today.

Thankfully I picked up eggs at my parent's house on Tuesday before I came back because I have some birthday cakes to bake tomorrow!

Wish me luck trying to get some groceries!

Hurricane Ike

Well, I think most of you that still read this blog follow me on Facebook, so you know we're safe and finally have power restored. We went to my parent's house Saturday night and stayed through Tuesday, when we came back home. We thank God that we have a house left and we sustained very minimal damage. (I'm not sure my mom has forgiven me for staying through the storm and not evacuating to her house.)
I got a new camera, since Caleb destroyed my old one, and finally am able to upload pictures rather quickly. So, here's what we did this weekend...

Caleb and Poppa on the 4-wheeler

my smiling Levi
Caleb not wanting to smile for the camera
one of our trees that was damaged
Ava looking pensive

He's Such a Mess

The other day Caleb dropped my camera on our wood floor and broke it. It's happened before and Uncle Scott fixed it, but this time I'm pretty sure it's for good. I guess that's what I'll be asking Santa for this year. It lasted over two years with Caleb constantly finding it and taking pictures of his finger, so I guess it had a pretty long life.

Caleb just came in here and announced, "I want to have my birthday. Right now."

OOOOOOOK. I tried to explain to him that his birthday is exactly 2 weeks from today, but that doesn't mean much to an almost-three-year-old. This is an almost daily ritual. Any time someone else has a birthday or we see a cake, he wants to have his birthday right then.

His favorite thing lately is to get on any raised surface in our house and pretend he's Buzz Lightyear. He climbs up, holds up his arms and announces, "To infinity and beyond..." Then he jumps off, laughs real big and does it again.

What am I going to do with him? :-)

On My iPod

My current favorite playlist includes (it's pretty random, but all good!):

Big Enough--Ayiesha Woods
Washed by the Water--Needtobreathe
Mighty to Save--Hillsong
If You're Gonna Play in Texas--Alabama
Call My Name--Third Day
Burn for You--tobyMac
Mountain Music--Alabama
God With Us--MercyMe
He Reigns--Newsboys
Undo Me--Jennifer Knapp
Let It Rise--Big Daddy Weave
O Praise Him--David Crowder Band
Shackles (Praise You)--Mary Mary
So Long Self--MercyMe
Something Beautiful--Newsboys
Sweetly Broken--Jeremy Riddle
I Dare You to Move--Switchfoot
With Arms Wide Open--Creed
Tennessee River--Alabama

Fun in a Box

Literally...

We're so tired around here. It's 8:21am, and Levi has been down for a nap since 7:45. Both boys were up for the day at 6am, and Levi was up eating twice during the night. I'm hoping it's a growth spurt!

We ALL had the stomach virus last week and over the holiday weekend. Not fun. I think we're finally over it, thank goodness. Now, if we could just get some sleep maybe we won't have a relapse!

Anatomy of a Photo Shoot

Trying to get two kids (or one husband) to cooperate for a picture is no easy task...

Our little thumb-sucker with his Mimi:

Ew.Ew.Ew.

Justin just interrupted my defensive driving to call me to the kitchen because he found a BLACK WIDOW SPIDER in our bag of grapes.

Everone now...*shudder* I confirmed it was a black widow (female, in fact!), and we looked it up online to find out if there might be another one or babies lurking nearby.

Wait, it gets better. He took the bag outside to kill the spider and saw a snake on the sidewalk. You'd think we were living on a farm or something.

Gross. Gross. Gross.

I'm so glad he found it and not me.

Free Ringtone from A Friend

Tquan Moore used to be the Youth Minister at our church and is now pursuing a music career. You can get a free ringtone by clicking below. He is an amazing artist and an awesome guy.

More from Tquan Moore at Myxer

When Does Sleep Return?

A couple of months ago, we finally started sleeping around here. Levi started sleeping through the night around the end of his 10th month. It was bliss.

Then came July 4. Our neighbors shoot off firewords for WEEKS. Caleb has reached the age where he realizes that things/noises/figments of his imagination are scary. So, he had a hard time sleeping for several weeks, and one of us slept in his room quite a lot. He finally did recover from that, and we all started sleeping again.

Then came our trip to New Mexico. I'm not really sure what set Caleb off, but he refused to go to sleep unless one of us was in the room with him. He's been going to sleep on his own since he was just a little baby, so I'm not sure why he's having trouble all of a sudden. He can't really tell us what's wrong, either. Just WAILING and BANGING if you leave him in his room alone. My genius husband came up with idea to set a timer and tell him we'd be back when the timer went off to sing him another song. It works pretty well at naptime (yesterday I only had to come back once), but not so well at night. But, it now is only taking us an hour and a half to get him to sleep instead of 3-4, so I guess that's progress.

Levi was up before 6am this morning, and his mommy went to bed at 1am after trying to finish defensive driving online (unsuccessfully). Then I heard my bedside alarm going off in CALEB'S room where it was left from the night before when I slept in there. Apparently he turned it on sometime yesterday. So, 10 minutes after I put Levi back to bed, Caleb was awake (at 6:15) telling me he was hungry.

Ok, that's all I can get to because Levi is sitting by the computer with a diaper that smells so bad I can hardly breathe. *sigh* The joys of parenting.

Life Is Crazy

I know everyone has quit checking this blog on a regular basis because it's been so long since I posted anything. This summer has been a little crazy for us. Good, but crazy. And part of the reason I haven't blogged in so long is that God has blessed me with a real-life friend at church who's also a stay-at-home-mom and lives not even 5 minutes from my house. We've been watching each other's kids, doing Bible study together, and really just having fun. I've needed a friend like her for a long time, and I've been richly blessed this summer by her friendship. And the other part of why I haven't blogged much is that it's BUSY having two little boys in the house!

We just got back from a trip to New Mexico (we drove. we're insane.). It was great to spend time with Justin's family and be in a COOL climate in August! I have a bunch of pictures, but I'll only add a few right now since the timer just went off which signals it's time for mommy to get off the computer and play blocks with Caleb.

I do hope to get back to more regular posting, but we'll see how it goes. Caleb will be in Mother's Day Out again this year two days a week, so maybe I can find a little time then to write. When I'm on the computer these days, it's usually for my business, so time for other things is limited. (I did join Facebook, which I thought I'd never do, but I've been able to reconnect with lots of old friends. If you're on there, let me know!)

Can you believe that in less than a month we'll have a 3-year-old and a 1-year-old? Some of you probably won't recognize Levi in these pictures it's been so long since you've seen one of him!

The toy cubby at Mimi's house:

Mimi's entertainment center:

Hiking in the mountains:

My sweet Caleb and his dimple!

Mimi, Daddy, and Caleb hiking

Goings On

Life is busy around here! I just got back from a convention this weekend. The boys both went to my parent's house for a few days, and it was good for all of us! I had a great weekend of learning and hanging out with other women! It was refreshing.

Caleb is in full two-year-old mode these days. He screams the most high-pitched, shrill noise I've ever heard when he doesn't get his way. Ugh. And his new thing these days is telling us at bedtime, "I don't want to say the prayers." Well, fine, but you're going to listen to us say them! One day all this stubbornness will be put to good use, I'm praying!

Levi is in the process of getting himself weaned. I say "getting himself" because I hadn't planned on it until he was a year old, but he's biting and has incredible suction, so I'm in the midst of a bleeding nipple for the umpteenth time in his 9 months of life. I just can't take it anymore. And since he's started biting, it just makes the bleeding worse. The pain is excruciating, and this momma is done. It's been one thing after another with him for the whole 9 months (infections, bleeding, cracking, nuclear testing, surgery, etc). I'm dealing with the guilt of weaning him before I weaned Caleb, though. After the initial 8 weeks with Caleb, we were smooth sailing until he was a year old. Not so with the little one.

I'm doing Beth Moore's Stepping Up Bible study with a group of ladies at church, and it's really good. Life is so much better when I'm in the Word daily!

Would you say a prayer for my sister? She undergoing testing for her gall bladder (sound familiar?). She hasn't had the pain that I had, but she's been really sick for several weeks. (And, no, she's not pregnant...they've checked at the doctor's office 3 times!) My mom had her gall bladder removed when she was young, also, so apparently it's genetic. Thanks!

Tagged!

So many posts in one day...just what will you all do? Got this one from JettyBetty!

8 Things I am passionate about

1. knowing God's Word
2. My husband
3. My children
4. My friends
5. making people feel welcome in my home
6. teaching my children to love Jesus
7. Beth Moore's Bible studies (no one gets me excited about the Word like Beth!)
8. A good cup of coffee & a Dunkin' Donut to dip in it!

8 Things I want to do before I die

1. see my children accept Jesus as their Savior
2. see my brothers-in-law marry godly women
3. go to Disney World with the kids
4. read the Bible cover to cover
5. get rid of A LOT of stuff from this house
6. adopt a child
7. sponsor another Compassion child
8. visit Thailand again

8 Things I often say (this should be really telling!)

1. I love you.
2. We go poo poo ONLY on the potty!
3. Seriously. (said with all kinds of emphasis. Seriously? Seriously. Seriously!?!)
4. I'm so proud of you!
5. What time do you think you'll be home tonight?
6. Go sit in time out.
7. Silly Caleb!
8. Don't wake up your brother!

8 Books I have Read Lately

1. My Bible
2. _Gorgeously Green_ by Sophie Uliano
That's all I can think of right now. I haven't actually finished a book in so long...

8 Movies I have watched 8 times or more

1. Top Gun (when I was younger)
2. Cars
3. that's probably it. I don't like to watch the same movie over and over and over. I'm sure I'll have many more Disney movies to add to this list in the coming years!

8 People I am tagging (this one is really fun!!!)

1. Lia
2. Holly
3. Jenn (Munchkin Land)
4. Kimberly
5. Lisa
6. Shalee
7. Erin
8. You!

Go Here

Looking for pictures of my kids...go here. I've been too busy juggling both kids to actually take many pictures myself, much less upload them, but my sister took some and actually posted them on her blog. You can see Caleb in the background of several of the pictures of Ava. They've had a lot of fun playing lately! We took the kids to the Children's Museum yesterday, and Caleb had a blast! They have a great area for kids 0-3 that was fun and safe for Levi. He could crawl around and pull up on things...his two favorites!

Wow Online

I love the Wow compilation CDs. There's a new one out...Wow Hits 1. It's FULL of amazing Christian songs:

• All the World
• Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone)
• East to West
• Everything Glorious
• Give Me Words to Speak
• Give Until There's Nothing Left
• Give You Glory
• God in Me
• Here's My Life
• I'll Stay
• I'm for You
• I'm Not Who I Was
• In Wonder
• Love Is Here
• Miracle of the Moment
• Older I Get
• So Great
• Tunnel
• You Are Everything

Just sharing! Check it out here.

Excercising

I don't particularly enjoy exercising. It's really the sweating that I don't really care for. But, I went to the gym three days last week, so that's a pretty big accomplishment for me. My goals are to lose about 20 pounds by the boys' birthday(s) in September, and more long-term...to be in great shape before we move to Singapore. There's nothing worse than being fat AND hot, especially in a place not far from the equator where walking is a major form of transportation.

That's all. Just random thoughts from my head.

Compassion

Justin and I have sponsored a child through Compassion International for over 4 years now, and it has been such a blessing. Our girl, Rudia, lives in Tanzania and is 14 years old. She was 10 when we started sponsoring her, and it's been so fun to see her abilities grow through the years. She is always asking us to pray for her family members, and the whole family loves to get our letters and pictures. We love to get Rudia's letters, too, and now she can actually write them herself! It is a blessing to be able to make a real difference in someone's life.

For $32 a month, you can sponsor a child through Compassion and change their life. I was just searching on the site for children who have been waiting the longest, and there are 52 children who have been waiting 6 months or longer for a sponsor. There are two-year-olds you can sponsor. When I think about my own two-year-old, tucked safely in his warm bed in his own room with a full belly and every imaginable convenience, it hurts to know that there are many two-year-olds going hungry tonight sleeping on dirt floors in a house the size of our computer room with 6 other family members.

For the cost of eating out once a month, you can help a child receive a Christian education, health care, social skills, and much more.

See for yourself.

Singapore, A Wedding, and This and That

For two years now we've been in limbo about the whole Singapore thing. Will we move there? Will we not? How long?

I wish I could say we have some answers, but we really don't have anything concrete. It looks like we will be moving there next summer (2009) for a year to 18 months. I say we'll be there 18 months to 2 years because I have yet to see a project finish on time. I'm just preparing myself. (By the way, if you see my mom, don't mention any of this to her. She's in serious denial. I think she'll be at Ava's house every week that we're gone to get her grandbaby fix!)

And, in perfect segue...my grandmother is getting married tomorrow. First, let me say I'm really happy for her. Second, let me say it's weird. My grandfather died right after I got married 5 1/2 years ago, and my grandmother is really young, so I'm glad she found someone she loves spending time with. But, I just don't think you expect to see your grandmother get married. I don't know this man really well (but I know he's a great man and former minister), and I think it'll be a little awkward for a while when we visit her. This man is the only great-grandfather-figure my kids will ever know. Both mine and Justin's grandfathers died long before our kids were born. Anyway, that's all I'll say about that.

Justin's mom is coming to visit next week, and we are super excited! The boys don't get to see Mimi very often, so this is a real treat. Levi doesn't even look like the same child since we saw her last. It'll be fun to see the boys with her.

And did you hear that my best friend is pregnant??? :-) She's due the day after Christmas when it'll be, oh, about 50 below in Alaska. Congrats, Dave and Lisa!!

Shocking No One

HowManyOfMe.com

There are 0 people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

I might be able to find a few in England, though.

:-)

Do You Recognize These Kids?

Caleb did this in the 30 seconds his daddy was in the bathroom...

Standing up!

Crawling!

I figure it's been so long since I posted pictures of the kids that you all might not recognize them! Levi is now crawling, eating baby food 3 meals a day, and trying to pull up on anything and everything around him! Caleb is almost fully potty-trained now (yay!) and surprising us every day with his vocabulary. Our current favorite is when he says, "Actually it's a..." He mimics everything we say, which means we have to be really careful about saying things like, "stupid" and "oh my gosh."

The Surgery Went Well

Thanks for all your prayers for my surgery. It was uneventful! They took me to surgery around 9:45am yesterday, and we were home by 1:30pm. Crazy, huh? I'm terribly sore, but it's not as bad as a c-section, so I'm thankful for that!

My parents and grandmother are here helping with the kids, so I'm able to get some rest. Since Levi is older, I don't have to wake up every 3 hours to feed him like I did when he was born, so I'm sleeping pretty well.

Just wanted you all to know I was doing well!

One of Those Days

Have you ever had one of those days where nothing seems to go right?

Yesterday was one of those days. I've been running a fever of 101 for 4 days now (yes I'm now on antibiotics), I have a terrible sore throat and cough, and I've been generally feeling pretty yucky. I picked up Caleb and Angel (the girl I keep on T/Th) from Mother's Day Out and in my fever-induced stupor I rear-ended a lady at a stoplight. With 3 kids in the car, one of which is not mine. It was very minor, very little damage and no injuries, but highly annoying and frustrating. For an hour, we had to sit there while the deputy got all the information, input it into the computer, etc., etc., etc. Meanwhile, I have a 2-year-old and a 4-year-old in the back seats asking me constant questions about when we're going to leave and what is the policeman doing. Oh, and of course Caleb had to potty the whole time and I couldn't do anything about it. When I called the insurance company later, the guy asked me if my day had been going well before the accident. Ummm, no.

I'm having my gall bladder removed next Thursday morning. I need to get better before then!

I just dropped my kids off at a sweet friend's house for the morning so I can get some rest. I'm off to the couch!

It's Gotta Come Out

I went to see the surgeon yesterday. Apparently the HIDA scan showed that my gall bladder does not squeeze like it should. So, I'm going to be scheduling surgery in the next couple of weeks. He said as long as they are able to do it laproscopicaly, there are no restrictions on activity, and I should be back to normal in a week. I'll just be glad to have the pain gone!

Not breastfeeding Levi for over 2 days actually went well. He took great to the bottle, and, amazingly, I had enough milk saved up to last those two days. He is VERY happy to have his mommy feeding him again, though! ;-)

Caleb is at Grandma's house today (we're heading there tonight), so I have lots of time to get things done today. Off to shower while Levi naps!

Goings On

A lot has been going on here lately...

This weekend we took our first camping trip with the boys. It was an experience. The days were GREAT; several families from our Life Group went and we had a lot of fun. The weather was amazing...cool and not humid!! The night, however, was rough. Caleb woke up at 1:30 crying at the top of his lungs. We're not sure what was wrong, but everyone heard him since we were sleeping in a tent! He, of course, then woke Levi up and he started crying as well.

Caleb also decided that Friday was the day he was going to go on the potty every.single.time. We were thrilled that potty-training has come easy for him, but we were headed to the campground where the bathroom was quite a little walk. So, too many times to count, we headed to the bathroom when Caleb needed to potty. By the end of Saturday, we had convinced him that it was special and cool to teetee on a tree (way closer than the potty!). :-) Only when we're camping! He's had a dry diaper now for almost 4 days and even went poopoo on the potty yesterday. I wasn't ready to start potty training yet, but all his friends at Mother's Day Out are doing it, so peer pressure won out and he wanted to go on the potty, too! Works for me!!

In other big news, Caleb gave up his pacifier about a month ago. One night I was home alone with them and noticed his pacifier had little tiny holes/slits in it (we think he grinds his teeth at night). I told him it was broken and he had to throw it away. Now he thanks God during nighttime prayers for "help me throw my paci away." :-)

Levi is now eating baby food regularly. He took a lot longer to get the concept than Caleb did, but he's eating more than a jar at a sitting.

I'm going in for a HIDA scan tomorrow of my gall bladder. They will inject some nuclear substance into my bloodstream and then inject something else to make my gall bladder "squeeze." I cannot nurse Levi for 48 hours after the test because of the nuclear stuff in my body, so I've been pumping like crazy for the past 5 days trying to get enough milk saved up for those 2 days. Luckily, now that he's on baby food, he's not taking as much milk.

I go in to see the surgeon on Thursday and he will evaluate the test results. We'll go from there. My family doctor thinks it will be have to be removed, but, as a lady at church told me yesterday, "no it won't. We'll pray for that!"

That's our crazy life these days. :-)

How Fast Do You Type?

This was fun!

93 words

Speed test

So Much Is Going On!

I know I haven't posted in such a long time, so I thought I'd jump on here really quick and give you all an update.

My PPD medication is working marvelously. Everyone is commenting that I seem happier, I'm talking faster, and I'm just better. It's wonderful to be able to feel "normal" again.

Levi is sitting up on his own (and has been for a month!) and is now eating baby food. Time flies so fast when they are this age!

Caleb has had a stomach bug for the last week. We thought it was gone, but then he got sick at lunch yesterday (at the table at a restaurant. lovely.). Not sure what's going on with him. (Right now Caleb is talking on his pretend phone to his Daddy saying, "Oh really? That's good. See you tonight." Think he's been listening to me talk on the phone?) :-)

I was up for an hour and a half last night in excruciating pain that I'm pretty sure was a gall bladder attack. I am very sore this morning. This does not make me happy. I've got to call my doctor and find out what she wants to do about that. She was trying to run tests on my gall bladder when I found out I was pregnant with Levi, and we had to stop because the test she wanted to do is dangerous in pregnancy. My mom had her gall bladder out at a pretty young age, so this does not come as a surprise to me. I just hope I'm not going to need surgery.

I also recently started a business with Southern Living At HOME. I'm so excited! It's a great way to have some adult conversation a couple of hours a week and still take care of my kids full time! (I would link to my website here, but it's got my full name and contact info, and I don't want the whole internet having access to that! Email me if you want to see it.)

So, that's what is going on with us. Living life.

Good Friday

I woke up this morning singing this song and thought I'd share it here. Amazing Love, indeed, that you my King would die for me!




I’m forgiven because You were forsaken,
I’m accepted, You were condemned.
I am alive and well, Your spirit is within me,
Because You died and rose again.

(Chorus)
Amazing love,

How can it be

That You, my King, would die for me?

Amazing love,
I know it’s true.
It’s my joy to honor You,
In all I do, I honor You.

I’m forgiven because You were forsaken,
I’m accepted, You were condemned.
I am alive and well, Your spirit is within me,
Because You died and rose again.

You are my King
Jesus You are my King

~Chris Tomlin
"Amazing Love"

Half a Year

Can you believe that Levi is 6 months old already? We definitely cannot.

We went for his check-up today, and Levi's stats are:
weight--19 lbs. 5 oz. (85%)
height--27 1/4" (80%)

Here is Caleb's Half a Year Post. Caleb's stats were 16 lbs. 3 oz.,26" long (25% in height and weight).

What is my big brother doing?

Kisses from Caleb:

What?

Oh...Hi Mommy!

Big boy in the Jumperoo:

Caleb in the Jumperoo.

Our little boy is growing up!

Caleb's been at my parent's house since Tuesday with his cousin, Ava. They are having a great time playing together and going to work with Grandma (she's one brave lady!). I miss him so much...it's been pretty quiet around here! We'll be heading there tomorrow for Easter weekend.

Ever since the time change, Levi has reverted back to not sleeping through the night. Ugh. Hopefully he'll get back on schedule soon!

Happy Easter everyone!

This Story Saddens Me

Have you heard about the study of girls aged 14 to 19 and the number of STDs they have?

Read the news story here.

My New Favorite Song

Note: There are a few graphic images of the crucifixion...if you have little ones with you, you might want to wait.

Edited to Add: It's "God With Us" by Mercy Me. Just beautiful!

Overheard

In the car this morning...

Caleb: "I so proud of you, Levi. That's a big spit!"

:-)

And, I keep a little girl in our Life Group on Tuesdays and Thursdays before and after Mother's Day Out. Is age 4 when the non-stop questions start? Because oh.my.goodness! I've never heard a child ask so many questions. "Why? Why? Why? But why?" is pretty much how our day goes. ;-)

Where God Go?

We've been giving Caleb money to put in the collection basket at church on Sunday mornings. Yesterday, we were explaining to him before it came around that when we put money in the basket, we're giving that money to God.

When the guy came to pass us the basket, Caleb looks at him and says really loudly, "That's God?"

Ummm. Not exactly. ;-)

When the guy walked to the rows behind us, Caleb says equally as loudly as he's looking around, "Where God go?"

Everyone around us got a good chuckle.

I love the innocence of a little one's mind!

We Turned a Corner

I hated to make this announcement on Monday, but now that it's a pattern...Levi is sleeping through the night! Oh, sweet sleep...I have found you again (except that I've had a sore throat every night, but whatever...)

We've been putting him to bed about 7:30, then I go in around 10:00 to feed him one last time, and he's been sleeping for 6-9 hours past then before he eats again and usually goes back to sleep.

The key is, he's a stomach sleeper. He learned to roll from back to front over a month ago, but he would get really mad when he rolled onto his stomach. We'd flip him over, and then he'd just roll back. He finally gave up and started sleeping on his stomach, and it's been wonderful ever since!

Hallelujah!

And, my mom gave me the gift of having my house cleaned (by other people), and they are coming today. Ahhhhh. I love a clean house! (My house has been the one thing through this depression that has bothered me the most. I just couldn't even get the energy or motivation to keep it straight, let alone clean. And a messy house with a clouded brain do not make a good mix!) Thanks, Mom!

I'm Doing Better

So many of you have emailed or called to see how I'm doing. I really appreciate it. I've been amazed at the support I've gotten from everyone. It was encouraging for me to get such a positive response from my last post and hear how many other women have struggled through this same thing. One of my goals in therapy was to blog about this journey, and my therapist was so pleased to hear how supportive everyone had been. It's scary to put yourself out there like that!

Things are better around here. I've actually been able to do things like run errands, keep the house straight (until I got sick this week!), and be engaged with the kids. These seem like small things, but they have been HUGE things for me. Breakthroughs for sure!

It's still a struggle some days to make myself do the things I absolutely don't feel like doing, but it is getting better. I haven't had a day where I cried off and on since I started the medication and therapy. That is a huge blessing. My emotions have evened out, and I'm starting to feel "normal" again.

Through my therapy and my own self-evaluation, I realize that I've been feeling down for a long time. Pretty much throughout my pregnancy with Levi and definitely since he was born. I can't remember the last time I felt as good as I do on my good days. It's been interesting to look back over the past year or more and see how this has evolved. Apparently women who have hard pregnancies like I did are more prone to depression. I can definitely see why. My hormones have been a mess for a LONG time now!

My goal in therapy now is to redefine what I think a good mom is for me. I've looked at so many other people's lives and what they're doing for so long that I don't even know what it means for me to be a good mom to my kids. What are my goals with my kids? What are my expectations for myself and my family? These are the things I need to work out in my head and in my heart to keep my expectations from going completely nuts again. What has God called me to do with my kids? That's the big one. God isn't calling me to do what every other mom out there is doing with her kids. He's called me to specific things with my children. My family is different than every other family. We have different backgrounds, different situations, and different children.

I'm so blessed to have a husband who is as wonderful as Justin. He has been so supportive of this whole journey, and will call when he's on his way home to ask as politely as possible if he needs to pick up dinner. You just never know around here if it's been a day where cooking dinner was even in the realm of possibility! I could not have made it this far this quickly without a husband who loves me and wants to help me as much as possible.

It's going to be a struggle for a while, I know, but things are looking up and I feel like a weight has been lifted from me.

Thanks so much for all your prayers for us. They are being answered!

It's a Daily Struggle

Life is pretty hard right now. When Justin was in Singapore last, I realized that I was suffering from postpartum depression and needed to get some help, which is what I've done and am continuing to do. I don't think anyone was surprised by this news, especially my mother and sister who both had been thinking I had PPD but didn't know how to tell me. It's hard to tell someone you think they are suffering from depression. I really had been watching myself for the signs because, as my counselor says, I'm a pretty self-aware person, but I really thought I was just sleep-deprived. "If I could just get some sleep, everything would be better," I kept telling myself. (I am sleep-deprived, but it's much more than that!)

But when I really began to look at my life over the past few months, I began to realize that I had emotionally checked out a lot of the time and become pretty irritable the rest of the time. I was (and still am) having a hard time concentrating on things and getting my brain to focus. Taking the boys anywhere seemed like a monumental task. And Caleb started getting very irritable and angry with me...mirroring his mother's behavior back to her!

So, in the interest of honesty and in order to preserve these memories, good, bad, or indifferent, I'm sharing this with all of you. That's why I haven't been around much lately. I've had to take a step back. Most of the time I don't have the energy or care to be at the computer. And I've had to stop reading a lot of the blogs I used to read because I have a severe case of "I don't measure up to other people's expectations" syndrome. I've had to take a hard look at myself and what I expect. My expectations for myself have been completely out-of-whack.

I kept beating myself up for not doing what I expected I should be able to do. "Look at so-and-so...she's homeschooling 10 kids and I can't even get all three of us dressed on most days. What's wrong with me?" These are the kinds of thoughts that have been rampant in my head in the past months. Not very helpful!

I'm working with my doctor, and I hope the roller coaster of emotions will slow down soon. It's already gone from a huge, dipping roller coaster to a more smooth one. There are still good days and bad days and bad weeks, but I haven't cried all day in three weeks, so that's definitely an improvement!

For now, I'm continuing to see a counselor to work on my expectations and coping skills for the things that are putting the most stress on me right now.

It's getting better. But every single day is a struggle to do the things I don't feel like doing. Some days I succeed. And some days I don't. But that's okay.

I'm getting help. And I desperately need it.

Not off the charts, but close

Levi, at 4 months old, weighs 17 1/2 pounds. That's what Caleb weighed at 9 months, which is probably why Levi is now wearing 9 month clothes. My mom bought Levi some warm clothes this weekend because Caleb's hand-me-downs in size 9 months are all sleeveless, since it was July in Texas when he was wearing them. Levi had better slow down or we'll be needing a whole new wardrobe for him, and I have tubs of little boy clothes in the attic!

Anyway, his weight is in the 90th percentile and his height (26") is in the 85th. He's a big boy! Ava Grace goes in for her one-year check-up on Thursday, and I'm anxious to find out if Levi has surpassed her in the weight department. He sure feels like it!

In other news, I had my yearly thyroid check last week (I've been taking thyroid medication for 10 years for under-active thyroid), and my doctor said today that I needed a slightly higher dosage. That might explain some of the exhaustion I've been feeling. I thought it was beyond what I should be feeling, even with the little amount of sleep I'm getting these days. She called me in the medication, and I have to go back in 8 weeks for some more blood work. I hope it helps.

Levi's doctor didn't have a clear answer as to his sleeping problems. He said to try and feed him a bottle of pumped milk at about 10:00-10:30pm and then nurse him to try and "tank him up." He said if he still wakes up in 3 hours, then he's got a "clock problem" and needs to have his clock reset, which involves me soothing him and letting him cry himself back to sleep instead of feeding him. It's hard to tell with breastfed babies how much they're actually taking in during a feeding, which is why he wants me to feed him a bottle. I'll be sure and let you know how it goes.

Oh, and I'm with all of you...I completely disagree with the Look-A-Like Meter. I guess it just depends which picture you choose for them to compare because I think Levi looks more like me and Caleb like Justin. But the brown eyes/brown hair, blue eyes/blond hair probably influences my thinking more than who they actually favor.

Gratuitous Pictures of the Kids

Here's a picture post, especially for the grandparents and The Daddy who's away. ;-)

Most of these were taken within the last month...I'm really behind on posting pictures, to which I'm sure Mimi will attest! :-)

(And even though Levi is wearing the same pajamas in several of the pictures, the top two pictures are from today and the ones near the bottom are from the middle of December.)

Brotherly love:

my brown-eyed boy (aka, the one that finally looks something like me)

Caleb saying, "cheese" and wearing his new Thomas sweatshirt

my sweet Caleb at Mimi's house for Christmas

me and my "chunky monkey" :-)

I could kiss those cheeks ALL day!

Sweet laughing

How can you resist this?

Playing in snow for the first time:

Aggiejenn Levi Look-alike Meter

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