Monday, March 05, 2012

Limbo

I have some amazing pictures of our trip to Australia and New Zealand, but they are at our "old" apartment (which Levi took to calling it yesterday before we had even spent one night away) and I am at the hotel.  The boys and I are having a leisurely morning here while Justin is meeting the movers at the apartment.  They got a lot done yesterday, and it's amazing to watch them work.  They have stuffed sheets, towels, and toys into every nook and cranny of our furniture so that everything packs up tighter, which is great because we have A LOT of stuff.

We have four more nights in Singapore before we board a plane bound for Texas with no return ticket.  It's surreal that this 6-year adventure is finally over.  Justin started working on this project when Caleb was 4 months old, and that's how far in advance we knew that moving to Singapore was a possibility.  We even planned when we got pregnant with Levi around our move so he wouldn't be a newborn when we moved overseas.  It has consumed our lives for a very long time.

In Sunday School this past week, we were talking about the move and that it would be our last time in church there.  A "new" girl was sitting beside me, and she looked at me with "the look" in her eye and said, "You don't sound excited."  "The look" is recognizable by expats...it's the look that "newbies" have in their eye when they are overwhelmed with having left their comfort zone and moved to a new country.  I told her that I was excited, but that this week in particular I was feeling the loss more than I had previously.  It was becoming real.  I also told her that it took me a whole year to feel at home here, and I remember that time well.  I would have said the same thing in her shoes because when you're new you can't imagine not being ecstatic about going back home to stay.

But after 2 years, 9 months, and 4 days, we are different people.  And we have friends here (and friends who are like family) who have helped us cope, helped us grow, and helped us truly live here.  Thankfully, many of our friends here have ties to Houston so we will be able to reconnect with them again.  But that's not the case with all our friends.  The goodbyes here are different than when we left Texas.

To our friends and family in the US...we cannot wait to see you and catch up and reconnect!  Please be patient with us, though.  You might not understand why we're sad or why/how we've changed or why we're struggling when we've moved back to a place we know and love.  That's ok.  Just love us and give us grace.  And don't be surprised if you see us in HEB and we are completely overwhelmed by the choices.  Just smile and walk away.  :-)

House hunting here we come...

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