Song for my Sons

Song For My Sons by Sara Groves

This is a song for my sons for when they understand it
You know how life is full you know we couldn't plan it
your dad and I prayed for strength and understanding
for things we couldn't see or comprehend

This is a song from my heart a small refrain to hold you
for times when we're apart and I cannot console you
I can't say your life will always go like it should
but I can say that God is always good

and when the cold wind blows like I know it will
and when you feel alone like I know you will
and when the cold wind blows like we know it will

Don't let your love grow
Don't let your love grow
Don't let your love grow cold

This is a song for my sons for when they understand it
You know how life is full you know we couldn't plan it
your dad and I prayed for strength and understanding
for things we couldn't see or comprehend

This is a song for you, to carry in your pocket
take all our love with you in all the paths you walk in
Be honest with yourself and don't forget to pray
and read your Bible everyday

and when the cold wind blows like I know it will
and when you feel alone like I know you will
and when the cold wind blows like I know it will

Don't let your love grow
Don't let your love grow
Don't let your love grow cold

This is a song for my sons for when they understand it
You know how life is full you know we couldn't plan it
your dad and I prayed for your strength and understanding
for things you cannot see or comprehend

Lately

The last few weeks have been difficult. I'm still working on getting fully back to normal after my surgery, and a couple of days after I had surgery Caleb and I both got a cold which I'm still dealing with now (just went to the doctor a couple of days ago!).

Levi now has Strep throat. Yesterday was pretty hard. He was miserable. The fever is gone, but he kept feeling like he had something stuck in his mouth and was trying to cough it out (probably the blisters on his throat). He also developed the strep-related rash and carried around a wooden spoon to scratch his back with, an idea he came up with all on his own, so I know he was miserable.

He is on an antibiotic that he must take twice a day with food. Yesterday morning after breakfast I went to give Levi his medicine, and he FREAKED out. He refused to take it. I actually had to hold him down and squirt it in his mouth. It was awful. It's not easy to hold down a 3-year-old to give him medicine. I told Justin what happened, so after dinner he said, "Are you ready?" I went in the kitchen to get the medicine and told Levi it was time to take his medicine. He said, "Is it orange? [yes] Ok." Then he proceeded to just drink it down. I could not believe it. Justin gave me a look and said something to the effect of, "I thought you said it was hard." I promptly told him to shut up. Why do the kids always make me look like an idiot?

This morning? SAME scenario as yesterday morning. Levi refused to take the medicine. (He finally did after much cajoling on my part and a threat to hold him down and squirt it down his throat.) I'm convinced Justin should work from home. I'm sure he'd get a lot done.

I still have a cough that's partly asthmatic and also some respiratory infection, and it has wiped me out. I have very little energy, and when I wake up in the morning I don't feel rested at all. It's not ideal for dealing with two active boys, one of which is sick.

Yesterday was not pretty. I was tired and frustrated and I yelled at the kids way too much. (I have a problem expecting them to act older than 5 and 3. I'm working on it.) At one point I apologized to Caleb for yelling and asked him to pray that Mommy would not get angry and yell, which he did (it was sweet). I don't want them to think my anger is ok; I want them to recognize that it's sinful and it's needs to be dealt with. I want them to know that Mommy struggles and desperately needs God's help and forgiveness and grace every.single.day.

I woke up this morning and read this post where Jenny talks about her anger problem. I'm definitely using these Scriptures to help me. Maybe you could use them, too? (Or maybe Jenny and I are the only ones who struggle with being patient with our kids?)

A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense. – Proverbs 19:11

It is to one’s honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel. - Proverbs 20:3

Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end. - Proverbs 29:11

In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. - Ephesians 4:26-27

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. – James 1:19-20

Here's to the grace of God and a better day.

Scripture Memory Verse Sixteen

Justin and I joined a new Bible class this week, and the first week's homework is to memorize this Scripture (I love it when it's easy for me to decide what to memorize next):

"For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin—because anyone who has died has been freed from sin." -Romans 6:6-7

Scripture Memory Verse Fourteen and Fifteen

Here are my verses for August:

"...train yourself to be godly. For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present and the life to come." -1 Timothy 4:7b-8

"Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom." -Colossians 3:16

Our pastor has given us a Scripture for our whole church to memorize, so I'm working on that one, too (he said he'll be calling on people in church to stand up and recite it, so I don't want to be caught not knowing it!).

"Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful." -Joshua 1:8

My Scriptures this month, including the one for our whole church, definitely have a theme--knowing and meditating on the Word of God. Next Thursday I will be leading a group of women in a weekly study of God's Word, and I am so excited! I've been preparing for that class and praying for the women God will lead there.

I hope some of you are still with me on this Scripture memory journey...I haven't heard from you guys in a while! If you've fallen behind, just start anew. We must have the Word of God in our hearts if we are to stand against the enemy's schemes (see 1 Peter 5: 8-9).

Scripture Memory Catch-Up

I neglected posting my Scriptures while we were on vacation, so here are my verses ten, eleven, twelve, and thirteen!

"He who speaks on his own does so to gain honor for himself, but he who works for the honor of the One who sent him is a man of truth; there is nothing false about him." -John 7:18

"She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness." -Proverbs 31:25-27

"Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD, the LORD, is the Rock eternal." -Isaiah 26:4

"In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." -John 16:33

Summer makes it hard to get motivated sometimes, but I just keep writing Scriptures in my spiral. Even if I'm not actively working to memorize right now, I've kept up with adding a new Scripture and read over them often. Just trying to stay consistent.

So, what are you memorizing/meditating on?

Scripture Memory Verse Nine & A Resource

A few days ago a friend gave me a copy of While They Were Sleeping: 12 Character Traits for Moms to Pray by Anne Arkins and Gary Harrell. Precious friends are the ones who pass on resources like that! It has written out prayers you can pray over your children by just filling in their names, and you can use their prayers as a guide to pray about specific situations that arise in your kids' lives. It's such a wonderful tool and has helped me in praying for my children. The first section is on kindness, and we could use some of that around here these days as the boys have been spending more time together and, therefore, more "brotherly love" has been expressed. :-)

The Scripture I've chosen this time comes from the Introduction to While They Were Sleeping:

"Rise during the night and cry out.
Pour out your hearts like water to the Lord.
Lift up your hands to him in prayer,
pleading for your children" -Lamentations 2:19

I want to pray faithfully for my children as they grow. This is a time of guiding them that I will not get back. I want to pray for them like Paul prayed in Ephesians 1:17-19 "asking God, the glorious Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, to give [them] spiritual wisdom and insight so that [they] might grow in [their] knowledge of God. I pray that [their] hearts will be flooded with light so that [they] can understand the confident hope he has given to those he called—his holy people who are his rich and glorious inheritance. I also pray that [they] will understand the incredible greatness of God’s power for us who believe him."

Here's the Amazon link to the book if anyone is interested.

Verse Eight

It's time for another Scripture to memorize. This time I'm choosing one we've been studying in BSF.

"Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We believe and know that you are the Holy One of God." -John 6:68-69

Which one have you chosen? Don't give up! Keep meditating on your verses and hiding God's Word in your heart.

Verse Seven

Forgot to put up this verse since we're having so much fun with my parents being here in Singapore!

"Your name and renown are the desire of our hearts." ~Isaiah 26:8b NIV

Which one have you chosen? Let's keep it up, ladies!! Even if you've missed one or more, just pick back up. There's no condemnation!

Verse Six

I'll admit I haven't been working on memorizing my last Scripture as much lately. But I press on and read them all and meditate on them. It goes in waves like that throughout the year. This is a marathon, not a sprint. I've added so many Scriptures to my spiral as I've come across ones that are speaking to my current situations and things God is working on in me (pride, etc.). The one I've picked for this time is 1 Peter 5:8-9.

Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith.

I've told so many friends lately that I feel like last year was an emotional beating from life and this year seems to be a physical beating. I've had more illnesses than I can remember already this year, and my stomach problems are fired up again. And, of course, my ankle.

But, I'm remembering that, "he gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak." (Isaiah 40:29)

Let's see your Scriptures!!

Verse Five

I'm still memorizing my passage from Daniel 2,

"He reveals deep and hidden things. He knows what lies in darkness, and light dwells with him." -Daniel 2:22 NIV

but I'm also going to work on this one:

"And those who walk in pride He is able to humble." -Daniel 4:37 NIV

Part of our lessons on Daniel lately have been about pride. God was really stepping on my toes through those lessons, and I realized there's a lot of pride in my heart. It's not pretty. I need His Word to help counteract the thoughts in my head. I'd certainly rather hide His Word in my heart and get rid of this pride than be humbled by Him.

So, what are you memorizing/meditating on/studying lately?

Verse Four

This time I'm continuing with the passage from Daniel.

He changes times and seasons;
he sets up kings and deposes them.
He gives wisdom to the wise
and knowledge to the discerning.
-Daniel 2:21

I am loving the study of Daniel! I'm learning so much.

Let's hear your Scriptures!

My Broken Ankle: The Emotions

The emotions I've felt as I've dealt with this accident are varied, as you'd probably imagine.

As soon as I hit the pavement on Friday morning and knew my ankle was broken, my thought immediately went to my two kids and how I would take care of them. It's pretty much the only thing I said in the emergency room (other than "10, my pain is a 10!!")...I have two little boys. When Justin came in to see me, it was the first thing I asked him, "How are we going to do this?" I felt so helpless because a broken ankle isn't like a broken arm where I could still basically take care of them and chase after them, and when you live in a place where walking is a huge part of your day, this is major.

My time in the hospital was pretty dark. I told Justin when we finally got in bed at home on Sunday night that I really was struggling with depression over this situation. Since we don't have full-time household help like many families in Singapore and we don't have family nearby, the decisions we needed to make to ensure we could handle this were huge. And the help we were going to need was enormous. And I was completely overwhelmed.

No longer could I take the kids to school and walk to the bus stop and go home.

No longer could I go to the grocery store and walk around and get the things we need.

No longer could I...

You see where my mind was going, constantly. Not a healthy place.

But sometime Monday things seemed to look up a little. And each day has been a little easier. Due in large part to the way God has used our friends, who have been non-stop in their offers of help. Bringing meals, offering rides, asking to bring my kids to their houses to play, encouraging me, asking what we need and fulfilling whatever that is.

One Scripture I memorized last year keeps coming to mind:

"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
And through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you.
When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned,
and the flame will not set you ablaze." ~Isaiah 43:2

I like the New Living Translation of that one as well:

"When you go through deep waters,
I will be with you.
When you go through rivers of difficulty,
you will not drown.
When you walk through the fire of oppression,
you will not be burned up;
the flames will not consume you."

Because these are deep waters and rivers of difficulty. But God is with us. And we will not drown.

Verse Three

I wrote this post the day before I broke my leg, so I'll do a post on that soon. I also have another Scripture I'll be memorizing along with this one that fits my situation right now.

Since I am doing Beth Moore's Daniel study right now and she has asked us this week to memorize the four verses in Daniel 2:20-23 over the next 8 weeks, these are the verses I am choosing, one verse every two weeks for the next 8 weeks...Providential timing, don't you think?

"Praise be to the name of God for ever and ever;
wisdom and power are his." -Daniel 2:20

I'm so excited that many of you have joined me on this Scripture memory journey. As Beth said in this week's study, "He wants few things more passionately than His Word abiding in us." Amen! It's so worth it!

It's so cool to see my friends from all over the world (literally!) memorizing Scripture together and encouraging one another. From Singapore to Alaska to Texas and down to Peru, we're doing this thing together, ladies. You are such an encouragement to me, and the accountability you're giving me is much needed.

Keep it up!

Along with the Daniel Scripture, I'll be meditating on these verses from 2 Samuel 22 during the next few weeks as well, fitting for this time of my broken ankle/leg and needing God's guidance and strength in a very real, BIG way:

²⁹ You are my lamp, O LORD;
the LORD turns my darkness into light.

³⁰ With your help I can advance against a troop ;
with my God I can scale a wall.

³¹ "As for God, his way is perfect;
the word of the LORD is flawless.
He is a shield
for all who take refuge in him.

³² For who is God besides the LORD ?
And who is the Rock except our God?

³³ It is God who arms me with strength
and makes my way perfect.

³⁴ He makes my feet like the feet of a deer;
he enables me to stand on the heights.

³⁵ He trains my hands for battle;
my arms can bend a bow of bronze.

³⁶ You give me your shield of victory;
you stoop down to make me great.

³⁷ You broaden the path beneath me,
so that my ankles do not turn.

Verse Two!

I found this verse while browsing another blog and really liked it. I want to be wakened morning by morning with ears to listen! It's longer than my last one. (If you'd like to use this Scripture for your memorizing and think it's a little long, just choose the first or second half.)

The Sovereign LORD has given me an instructed tongue,
to know the word that sustains the weary.
He wakens me morning by morning,
wakens my ear to listen like one being taught.
~Isaiah 50:4 NIV

If you haven't memorized verse one yet, that's okay! Jot down verse two in the comments and write it down in your spiral/notebook/paper/blog...whatever. Just keep working on them. If you haven't joined us and want to, it's definitely not too late! Be sure to keep your Scriptures handy so you can refer to them often. If you're not writing them down on something portable, post them on slips of paper around your house so you can see them often. REMEMBER...let's not get legalistic about how we're doing this because that only sets us up for failure! Consistency is what we're after; it will pay off.

I'm so glad you have joined me in this! I really need the accountability, so it helps to have to post about it every two weeks.

Let's hear your Scriptures!

Verse One!

Updated to add: Anyone is free to join! Just jot down your verse here and remember to come back on the 30th for the next verse. You can go to this post to see the Introduction.

It's time to record our Scriptures for the Scripture Memory Team! I'll give you a little background as to why I chose my verse.

Two words that sum up my goals for 2010 are intention and contentment. I want to be intentional in all my relationships. My kids are not going to grow up knowing and loving God without intentional parents who teach them Truth. My marriage is not going to grow and remain strong without hard work and effort and planning and connecting. I cannot let my life just pass by and not work hard at maintaining and growing relationships.

The second word, contentment, speaks to a big part of my life. I want to be content where I am and not wish for anything more than God's given me (like to be at home in Texas with my family or a host of other things I tend to have "the grass is always greener" syndrome about!). While missing my family is fine, I want to be content and at peace always with where God has lead our family, whether it feels comfortable or not.

So, my first verse is from Proverbs 14: 30 NIV:

"A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones."

I encourage those of you who are participating to choose a short, one-verse Scripture this first time (unless you are proficient at Scripture memory). I also want to tell you to come here and record a new Scripture every time, even if you've not memorized the one before. This will help you to stay consistent, and you can work on all the Scriptures you've chosen. Just keep doing the thing and God will bless your efforts to be in His Word.

Now let's hear your Scriptures! Let us know which translation you've chosen as well.

Here's a link to Beth Moore's blog post where you can find tutorial videos with helpful tips for Scripture memory.

Scripture Memory--Want to Join Me?

This past year I participated in Beth Moore's 1st and 15th Scripture Memory Team. On the 1st and 15th of the month, we would pick a new Scripture to memorize. She told us to get a index card spiral (which you can buy at Walgreens or Wal-Mart in the States) in which to record our Scriptures so they would be portable. Mine were sometimes in my purse, sometimes in my Bible cover, at times in my carry-on luggage on long plane trips, and sometimes sat beside my bed for weeks on end. I am not a person who follows through on a project easily (as a teacher, my students would sometimes have to remind me that we had started a project months back), but this Scripture memory project I stuck with the whole year. It's a much better track record than my "reading the Bible in a year" attempts. By the end of the year, I had 24 Scriptures committed to memory. This is what my spiral looks like today (the front cover is barely hanging on!):

I wish I could express to you what these Scripture meant to me this year. I could not have known how God would use these Scriptures to challenge me, comfort me, hold me up when I most needed Him and His Word. I've been very open about my life struggles here on the blog, so you'll be able to see how some of these were used in my life. But I don't share everything, so just know that God did some amazing things using His Word in my heart.

This one, in particular, helped me through several tough situations:

And this is what happens when your child gets ahold of your spiral (see the tape?):

And this Scripture has become so precious to me, my favorite of all time. This is what I want my life to be about:

So, I've searched Singapore for spiral-bound index cards and found none, but I'm not going to be legalistic about that, so this is what I've done for this year. It works just fine (and a little notebook would work just as well):

I was sad that Beth Moore wasn't going to officially do the Scripture Memory team on her blog this year, but I've learned the habit, so I'm just going to keep doing it myself. The benefits are endless! If you want to join me and memorize 24 Scriptures this year, I'd love to have the company! Just leave a comment on this post. It's not easy, but what thing of value ever is? It takes work and perseverance, but it can be done!

Since it's past the 1st of the month (and, again, not going to be legalistic!), we'll just do the 15th and 30th (or 28th in February!). The point is to hide God's Word in your heart (Psalm 119:11-one of my Scriptures from 2009). And in order to do that, you have to start memorizing His Word! Isaiah 55:11 (HCSB) says, "My word that comes from My mouth will not return to Me empty, but it will accomplish what I please, and will prosper in what I send it [to do]." Indeed!

I'll post my first verse this Friday, January 15. If you want to participate, come back then and post the verse you've chosen. You can choose the same one I'm memorizing, or you can choose your own. (Sometimes I choose a Scripture I've seen in a particular study, or one I heard from someone else and want to memorize.)

I can't wait to see how God uses these 24 verses in my life (and yours) this year!

"But if you keep looking steadily into God's perfect law--the law that sets you free--and if you do what it says and do not forget what you heard, then God will bless you for doing it." -James 1:25NLT (also one of my Scriptures for 2009!)

Theological Discussions with a Four-Year-Old

Caleb has been asking a lot of deep questions lately. They seem easy enough on the surface, until you try to answer them. Especially in a way that a four-year-old can understand.

Here are some things Caleb's been asking/saying this weekend:

1. Where does God live?

2. We sang "Jesus died for all the children" at church today. Why did he do that?

3. Is He still died? (Caleb's words)

4. I love God sooo much! (So do we, sweetie, so do we!)

5. As I was praying with Caleb tonight, I asked him if he wanted to say it by himself. He did, so he started thanking God for his bunk bed, his reward chart, his stuffed moose. He said, "Thank you for..." and paused, so I filled in with, "...always being with me." Caleb replied with, "No, it's just furniture tonight, Mom. And soft things." :-) I was unaware it was "thank God for your furniture" night. I stand corrected.

Caleb has such a sweet heart, and it is a joy to watch him grow in his knowledge of our Savior. This time surely cannot be wasted.

"How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word. I seek you with all my heart; do not let me stray from your commands." ~Psalm 119: 9-10