Lately

The last few weeks have been difficult. I'm still working on getting fully back to normal after my surgery, and a couple of days after I had surgery Caleb and I both got a cold which I'm still dealing with now (just went to the doctor a couple of days ago!).

Levi now has Strep throat. Yesterday was pretty hard. He was miserable. The fever is gone, but he kept feeling like he had something stuck in his mouth and was trying to cough it out (probably the blisters on his throat). He also developed the strep-related rash and carried around a wooden spoon to scratch his back with, an idea he came up with all on his own, so I know he was miserable.

He is on an antibiotic that he must take twice a day with food. Yesterday morning after breakfast I went to give Levi his medicine, and he FREAKED out. He refused to take it. I actually had to hold him down and squirt it in his mouth. It was awful. It's not easy to hold down a 3-year-old to give him medicine. I told Justin what happened, so after dinner he said, "Are you ready?" I went in the kitchen to get the medicine and told Levi it was time to take his medicine. He said, "Is it orange? [yes] Ok." Then he proceeded to just drink it down. I could not believe it. Justin gave me a look and said something to the effect of, "I thought you said it was hard." I promptly told him to shut up. Why do the kids always make me look like an idiot?

This morning? SAME scenario as yesterday morning. Levi refused to take the medicine. (He finally did after much cajoling on my part and a threat to hold him down and squirt it down his throat.) I'm convinced Justin should work from home. I'm sure he'd get a lot done.

I still have a cough that's partly asthmatic and also some respiratory infection, and it has wiped me out. I have very little energy, and when I wake up in the morning I don't feel rested at all. It's not ideal for dealing with two active boys, one of which is sick.

Yesterday was not pretty. I was tired and frustrated and I yelled at the kids way too much. (I have a problem expecting them to act older than 5 and 3. I'm working on it.) At one point I apologized to Caleb for yelling and asked him to pray that Mommy would not get angry and yell, which he did (it was sweet). I don't want them to think my anger is ok; I want them to recognize that it's sinful and it's needs to be dealt with. I want them to know that Mommy struggles and desperately needs God's help and forgiveness and grace every.single.day.

I woke up this morning and read this post where Jenny talks about her anger problem. I'm definitely using these Scriptures to help me. Maybe you could use them, too? (Or maybe Jenny and I are the only ones who struggle with being patient with our kids?)

A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense. – Proverbs 19:11

It is to one’s honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel. - Proverbs 20:3

Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end. - Proverbs 29:11

In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. - Ephesians 4:26-27

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. – James 1:19-20

Here's to the grace of God and a better day.

Discouraged

I've been in a bad mood today. I'm 5 weeks out from the surgery, and I'm realizing that this is going to be a very long recovery process. When they told me I couldn't bear weight on my foot for 6 weeks, I think I let that 6-week mark concrete in my brain, which wasn't a good idea.

I cannot bear any weight on my foot for 6 weeks. That doesn't mean I'll be walking normally any time soon. I return to the doctor next Friday, the 26th, and I can start putting partial pressure on my foot. I won't be able to get rid of my crutches, which I think was my initial thought.

Right now I'm trying to stretch my ankle and press my foot against things to increase my range of motion. This hurts. I don't feel like I'm making any progress, and that is so discouraging and frustrating.

I'm tired.

I'm tired of not being able to do things for myself. I'm tired of not being able to go anywhere by myself. I'm tired of asking my kids to go and get things for me or do things for me. I'm tired of having to really limit my schedule because I get tired so easily. And I'm just tired. (Did I mention that?) My body hurts, especially between my shoulder blades.

I really don't want to have a pity party, but I just want to be honest. I've been pretty upbeat about the whole thing so far (most of the time, but especially here on the blog), and today I'm just not feeling it.

I know Satan would like nothing more than for this discouragement to defeat me. Would you mind putting a Scripture in the comments section that would encourage me? I'd really appreciate it.

Appropriate

Justin and I are reading 365 Daily Devotions for Couples. Earlier this week we read one that was so appropriate for what we're going through that I laughed out loud. I thought I'd post it here.

"Whatever this year may bring, you do not have to face it alone. You have a partner and a helper to rejoice with and receive strength from in good times and bad.

This gives you an enormous advantage: What one of you cannot do, the other can; what one of you fears, the other does not.

Listen to your partner, discuss every decision together, and give thanks for the varying abilities you bring to your marriage. You will prosper as a team.

Lord, we realize that we are stronger and smarter when we work together on a problem. Please remind us of this anytime we are tempted to "take over" or impose our own ways on each other."

Now that we're several days past this and it's not almost midnight, it doesn't seem quite as funny. I think it struck me funny because we had just been talking about how I'm tired of being the needy one in the family. Between the depression, bouts of anxiety, and now the broken ankle, I feel like I'm always the one who is on the receiving end. That and the fact that "what one cannot do" is pretty much everything these days. :-)

Then the Lord God said, "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper as his partner." -Genesis 2:18 NRSV


And a totally unrelated picture: My boys rarely watch TV anymore, but the other morning we turned it on and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse was on. They both had to run to their rooms and grab their Mickeys to watch with them. Cute, cute.

My Broken Ankle: The Story

For those of you that want to whole story of what went down last Friday (that would be me...going down!), here it is. If you don't care for the possibly-queasy details, then come back later for my post about how I'm feeling/have felt about this whole situation.

So, on Friday morning we talked to my parents for about an hour on Skype. The boys were in rare form, definitely needing some attention from their grandparents! After we talked to them, I wasn't feeling all that well, but I knew we needed to go to the post office to retrieve a package and also to the toy store to buy a birthday present for Caleb's classmate who was having a birthday party that afternoon. I thought to myself that I'd rather stay home, but I knew we had some errands to do.

So, we walked to the bus stop. (Are you wincing? Because at this point I'm wincing writing this.)

At the bus stop, I saw bus 174 heading our way, so I quickly checked the chart to make sure it was headed to the stop we wanted. It was, so I turned around to corral the boys and get our bus cards from Caleb. I flagged down the bus, and it stopped about 6 feet out from the curb. I grabbed Levi's hand and stepped off the curb. (LOOK AWAY if you're squeamish!)

When my foot hit the ground, my ankle twisted, I heard a crunch and I fell to the ground. Then I screamed.

At this point, the bus was stopped and the door was open right in front of me. I remember screaming either at the driver or anyone in general to please call someone. He was just staring at me and I was wondering why he was just sitting there instead of getting off the bus to help me.

A guy appeared in my line of vision and asked if I was ok. I told him I thought I broke my leg, and he asked if I wanted him to call an ambulance. YES! I think it was about this time that I calmed down enough to realize both my kids were crying, so I started trying to reassure them that Mommy was fine and they could calm down. Another guy came over and they helped me get from the street to the sidewalk. I wasn't in much pain at this point, and they thought I would be more comfortable sitting on the bench at the bus stop, so they helped me up and basically carried me to the bench. (I have no idea whether these guys got off the bus to help me or they were walking by and stopped. But they were definitely sent from God to help me!)

Then I called Justin. It's pretty much the call you never want to get where your wife can hardly speak because she's in shock and crying and scared and trying to tell you what is wrong and can you please come home from work NOW. Of course he said yes. And he was very calm. He always is, which is very helpful when things are out of control. I then tried calling a few friends because I needed someone to come and get the kids because I knew they didn't need to go to the hospital with me. I got my friend, Andrea (life-saver!), on the phone and she was only a few miles away, so she hopped in a cab and came to rescue us.

While we waited, the guys who were helping us tried to ask the boys questions to keep their minds off of what was happening. Caleb was talking to them, but Levi just sat next to me sucking his thumb.

The ambulance arrived before Andrea did, along with a police escort. They immobilized my leg, put me on the stretcher and put me in the ambulance. Caleb didn't want any part of being in an ambulance, so he stayed on the bench with the men and Levi got in the ambulance with me. We waited for Andrea since I didn't know the guys well enough to leave my children alone with them, and when she arrived, she grabbed Levi out of the ambulance and took my kids to her house.

The ambulance ride was really bumpy, but it was quick, so I was thankful for that. When we got to the ER, a nurse and the EMT (not sure what they're called here) started talking. I'm not sure if they were speaking another language or just talking too fast for me to understand them, but the EMT was trying to explain to the nurse what was wrong with my leg and the nurse must have said something to the effect of, "how do you know?" The EMT then said very loudly and clearly while pointing at my leg, "I can SEE it!" It was obvious by looking at my ankle that something wasn't right.

They couldn't give me any pain meds until they did an xray to find out what was going on inside. I kept asking if Justin was there, and finally he was coming through the doors with the ER doctor. Family members are not allowed into the ER here (there's not much room for them since all the beds are only a few feet apart, anyway), but she allowed Justin to come in so she could tell us both the results of the xray at the same time.

My leg was fractured in three places and not clean breaks. It was a "twisted" fracture, so it would need to be repaired with surgery. That much we knew right from the start, so I just needed to wait until that could happen.

I remember looking up at Justin, so glad he was finally beside me and trying to hold back tears. I said, "how are we going to do this?" I was so distraught. This was literally a nightmare for me, to be immobilized with two little boys to take care of and no family around to help us. He just said, "We're going to do it. We'll do it." He was very reassuring.

They soon kicked Justin out so they could put my leg in a cast, which required quite a few people around my bed. They put it in a "back board" where just the back and sides of my leg were immobilized by the cast, and it would be easily removable once the surgery was imminent. After they put the cast on, I started having severe pain. It was no longer concentrated in my ankle, but it was hurting in my toes and up to my knee. They gave me morphine, which helped for about a minute and then I was crying and thrashing around in my bed and moaning loudly. They would come over and ask me to rate my pain, and I could barely talk, but it was EXCRUTIATING. Seriously, I'd have a c-section anyday before I'd have that pain again. The doctor gave me another dose of morphine, which also didn't help. They kept talking at the foot of my bed and touching my toes and wondering outloud why I was in so much pain. That kind of pain was not normal for a fracture, especially since it had been immobilized.

I wish I could explain the pain, but it was intense. I kept praying and trying to remember my Scriptures I memorized, but none came to my mind. The pain was so great, I just kept repeating, "You are my refuge, my strength, my strong tower." Over and over and over.

During all of this, a policeman had come in a couple of times asking me questions about the accident and for my information. The last time he came in I was in severe pain and he asked me what country I was from. I told him, and then he asked me if I had diplomatic immunity. I don't, so I told him so. He left, and then I was left wondering why in the world stepping off a curb and breaking your leg had anything to do with diplomatic immunity. I still don't know, but there apparently was some confusion as to whether I was getting off the bus and the driver was at fault. No, just me being clutzy. :-) The police called Justin and when he told them I stepped off the curb before getting on the bus, they stopped asking questions.

They finally took me back to xray and that confirmed that my ankle was not only fractured but dislocated. The dislocation was causing all of the pain. They informed me that they would sedate me (MUSIC to my ears at that point) and relocate my ankle. They called Justin in again to get my wedding ring and purse because they would not sedate me until he had those things in his possession.

Afterward, I was so relieved. The pain was manageable again! And I was able to rest a little. They moved me to a room upstairs to wait for surgery, which they said would either happen that night or the next morning.

As I was being wheeled out, I thanked the ER doctor. She was great. She was a no-nonsense doctor who really took good care of me and listened when I was in pain.

About 7pm, less than 8 hours after I arrived at the hospital, I was taken into surgery. By that time, I had probably seen 15 doctors and had to tell the story to each of them. I was glad to be getting this "over" with.

I returned to my room around 11pm, so we're not sure how long the surgery lasted or how long I was in recovery. They initially told us the surgery would take about 2 hours. They put in 7 screws and a plate on the outside of my right leg (inside my leg, though!), and they put two metal wires on the inside of my right ankle. Both of my leg bones were broken where they come into the ankle and part of my ankle joint is also fractured, although I'm not really sure how/where.

So, I stayed in the hospital until Sunday afternoon. About 48 hours total. The pain meds made me really nauseated (really) and I had to have help to the toilet the entire time I was in the hospital. It was not a pretty couple of days. BUT, things are much better now and so is my outlook on the whole situation. We have great friends here who are already helping us.

Since we are celebrating Chinese New Year over here, Monday and Tuesday are holidays and Justin was able to take off work easily to be home with me. He'll go back to work tomorrow, probably after dropping to boys at school, and we're just trying to figure everything out one day at a time. Everyone who offers to help us will be called on (so beware!). We are in need of help and are so thankful for everyone who has offered to cook us meals, pick the boys up from school, or get groceries and bring them to our house.

That's the story. I'll write more about the emotional side of it all tomorrow, maybe. I know God is doing something and I'm not sure what it is yet. But I can sense it. And while I would have prayed against this happening to me, I'm welcoming whatever it is He's teaching me or doing through me during this time.

Quiet Time with Small Children

A sweet friend emailed me today and said it had been a long time since she'd had a quiet time, especially since the birth of her baby. She was asking my advice on how to start spending time in God's Word again. I thought I'd share my answer here because I know that the two of us aren't the only moms of small children struggling to find quite time with God in the midst of dirty diapers, cranky babies, and toddlers who don't stop talking from sun-up to sun-down. I surely don't have all the answers, but in the almost 4 years I've been a mom of small kids, I've learned some things from other moms, more seasoned moms, and from my own struggles...

"Well, I'll tell you that I don't have a quiet time every day. While that's my goal, it doesn't happen. I go through periods where I do pretty well, but I just can't seem to discipline myself enough yet where it happens every day. BUT, I have been in the Word more lately, which is a good thing. It always helps if I'm a part of a study with other people because it forces me to get my work done by the next week! I lack seriously in the self-control and discipline areas.

If you're like me, you struggle with an "all or nothing" kind of personality sometimes. It can be so detrimental to our walk with God. Let me tell you NOT to start one of those Bible in a year things. I tried to do that recently and am already behind, so that's just not gonna work right now; it just makes me feel guilty and I don't need anymore of that. While I wish I could read the Bible in a year, and hope to do so regularly just as a part of my everyday life, it's not happening right now. Since Levi got up at 6:15 this morning, every plan I had to get up early and get my quiet time done before the kids got up just went out the window. I recently started getting up an hour or two earlier than normal, and about 9 times out of 10 Levi has been up within 15 minutes of my new wake time. It's very frustrating. And the middle of the day for me isn't much easier a lot of days. Caleb stopped napping when he was 2 1/2, so there hasn't been a break in the middle of the day in a long time. Now that he's older, he can entertain himself for a while, so sometimes I can grab a little time to do my Bible study then, but it never goes uninterrupted. That's just life with little kids!

I think you and I might have to let go of the "quiet" in quiet time for a while. There's just so little time for quiet in my day, and when Justin gets home, I need to spend that time with him. A lot of times I will stay up after he goes to bed and do my Bible study, but we don't like going to bed at different times, so that's not a good option most of the time.

So, here's my advice:

1) Pick a book of the Bible. Any one. Don't stress...pray about it and see where God leads you. "I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you." ~Psalm 119:11

2) Don't set a goal to read the whole thing by a certain date, just read some each day.

3) If you can find 5-30 minutes of retreat in your day, GREAT! If not, then just be in His Word. Read to your kid(s) as you're playing or eating or whatever. Listen to the Bible on the Internet or on CD as you go about your day. God understands our situations as moms of small children, and He wants us in His Word. That's what He wants. He doesn't want us to be legalistic about trying to have 30 minutes or an hour of quiet time like we did before kids. That is not the season we're in, so let's stop beating ourselves up about it. "For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart." ~Hebrews 4:12

4)Just read His Word. That's it. Don't plan to read 3 chapters a day or 10 verses or whatever. Just start reading. When something strikes you, stop. Meditate on it. Repeat it. Write it down and memorize it if that would help. Think about it. Pray it back to Him. "Reflect on what I am saying, for the Lord will give you insight into all this." ~2 Tim. 2:7

5) Read a little more the next day or later the same day.

6) Don't let Satan make you feel like a failure because you made a plan and fell through with it. Just pick it back up and keep going. God desires for us to be in His Word to know Him and be able to share what we know with others. It's for our encouragement and benefit. "All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work." ~2 Tim. 3:16-17

7) Pray and ask God to help you find time in your day to be quiet before Him.

8) Don't make reading the Bible another box to be checked off on a to-do list. Ask God to help you fall in love with His Word and crave it like you do food. I want to be able to say each day, "I delight in your decrees; I will not neglect your word...Your statues are my delight; they are my counselors." ~Psalm 119: 16, 24

9) "Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. " ~ 1Thes. 5:12-18. This is the legacy we want to leave our children.


Blessed is the man
who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked
or stand in the way of sinners
or sit in the seat of mockers.
But his delight is in the law of the LORD,
and on his law he meditates day and night.
He is like a tree planted by streams of water,
which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither.
Whatever he does prospers. ~Psalm 1:1-3

Now I'm off to take my own advice...

Anyone out there have any more/different advice about how to stay in God's Word with little ones around?

Walking

When the kids are in school, I walk a lot more. :-) The other day I took the bus by their school and stopped off at the wet market for some fruits and vegetables. Here's the view from the pedestrian bridge over Farrer Road. All that construction you see is for the new Circle Line MRT. We are very anxious for them to finish so that we will have an MRT station within walking distance of our condo.
A view of the HDB (Housing Development Board) flats (apartments) by the Empress Market...

The stairs down from the pedestrian bridge. (There are 38, in case you're wondering. And an equal set on the other side of the street.)
The church where I attend Bible study and MOPS is just behind the Empress Market, and about a 20-minute walk from our place. On Monday morning I decided to take Caleb in the stroller (so there'd be no complaining from him!) and walk to Bible study. There is no crosswalk on Farrer Road, so we have to go up the stairs, over the pedestrian bridge, and down the stairs to get to the other side (I made Caleb get out and walk then, of course). Needless to say, the walk was great exercise, but I was soaking wet by the time I arrived and we won't be doing that again. We'll stick to the bus. But I do enjoy that walk when we don't need to look presentable, and if I'm by myself. Lugging Levi and/or the stroller up and down those stairs is not fun!

And, lastly, a picture of the boys. They were both playing computer games yesterday. Levi must do whatever his big brother is doing, which more often than not gets him in trouble, but here they were content to side side by side and play together. Siblings are so fun!

I Guess This Means We've Only Got 31 Years Left...

Today Justin and I are celebrating 7 years of marriage. Anyone remember what he said on our 4th anniversary? I do love that man.

While marriage is never easy and difficulties arise just from living life together, it's surely not hard with Justin. (Out of the two of us, trust me when I say I'm the harder one to be married to!) Seven years ago when we got married, we never imagined the path God would have taken our family. We've been through a lot together, and the last two years with my depression and anxiety has been the hardest on both of us. But our marriage has never been stronger, and this time away from everything we are familiar with, aside from our little family of four, is drawing us closer together.

Justin and I have a great marriage. That's due to a lot of grace from God and each other, and a lot of work! Here are some things I'm so glad we've done:

-we did a lot of premarital counseling. I highly recommend it! We read books about marriage, but we also talked to couples at our church that had been married for decades about what made it work. Whether before or after marriage, it's always a good idea to get advice from godly couples who have marriage success stories. Just sitting and listening to them talk about each other and their marriages is enough to make you feel better!

-we say "I'm sorry" a lot. We're not perfect, so we sometimes snap at each other in moments of frustration or unintentionally hurt each other's feelings. We always say we're sorry. Maybe not right then, but always. And we say "please" and "thank you" and are just generally respectful of one another. It helps a lot.

-we don't intentionally hurt each other's feelings. We've been married a while now, so we know exactly which buttons to push that would make the other person hurt. We just don't push them. Justin is the person I love most on this earth, so why would I want to hurt him? It's not worth it. Hurting him intentionally with my words or actions is just out of the question.

-we've centered our marriage on Christ. He is what brought us together and what sustains us still. It's the most important thing. And we're committed to bringing up our children to know and love our Savior.

Justin won't write a post on here, so I wondered what he'd say about me if he did. ;-) Here's what I came up with (because he surely wouldn't be super sappy in front of you all!)

"She has a flair for the dramatic, she's surprisingly good with numbers, she has a crazy good memory, and I love her a lot." ;-)

(Did I do a good job, babe?)

I'm much more wordy than he'll ever be.

So, it's our 7th anniversary and we're living in Singapore. It's a roller coaster, babe, but I'm so glad you're the one on this ride with me.

I think I'll keep ya.

If you're interested in "Our Story" of how we met, fell in love, and how I almost totally ruined Justin's proposal...you can find those posts below. I wrote them a couple of years ago, so they're in the archives.

Part One
Part Two
Part Three

The Transition

I've had a lot of comments here, emails, and posts on my Facebook account that all say basically the same thing, "I can't believe you're doing so well in Singapore!"

Trust me, I'm a little surprised myself, and it surely isn't because of me. My God is BIG, faithful, and has been preparing me for this time for many years.

My friends and family and long-time readers of this blog know that I suffered from postpartum depression after the birth of our second child in 2007. It took me 4 months to realize I had PPD, and then it was over a year before I felt like the fog had lifted on my life. Then this spring I started having anxiety attacks (severe nausea) about our upcoming move. That year and a half, from September 2007 to May 2009, was a hard time for all of us, the darkest time in my life, and probably the roughest time in our marriage (because Justin had to pick up a lot of slack). My prayer this past spring was that I would be in a healthy place emotionally when we moved because I knew moving to a foreign country with two toddlers was enough to make a sane person crazy! God faithfully answered that prayer, and I feel better emotionally than I have in probably years. It's such a blessing!

And here are come cool ways God prepared me for this time:

1. I was able to visit Singapore twice - years ago, so I at least had a picture in my head of what this country we were moving to looked like.

2. I lived in Thailand for 6 months during my senior year of college, so I knew what it felt like to live in a foreign country...being away from family, missing familiar foods, etc. I always thought my time there was preparing me for foreign mission work, but it helped me to move across the world with two small children.

3. An amazing family moved here at the same time we did! God gave me a sweet, godly friend to walk this journey with me. And she parented toddlers several years ago, so she's also a great mentor! You're such a blessing, Andrea!

4. Last fall I received an email from a friend that said, "Did you know Camille lives in Singapore?" Camille and I went to the same church during our time at Texas A&M, and even though we didn't know each other well, we had mutual friends. And she has a little boy who is just between my boys in ages, so we were very excited to know someone who already lived here. I'm still amazed that we ended up in this tiny country at the same time! God is so cool!! Camille invited me into her sweet circle of friends, and what cool people they are! It's such a blessing to have friends who are also expats and know what all that entails.

So, while I was just living my life, God knew this huge move was in my future. And for years now He has been preparing me step by step to make this transition as smooth as possible.

The love of my God amazes me daily!

"God's love is meteoric,
his loyalty astronomic,
His purpose titanic,
his verdicts oceanic.
Yet in his largeness
nothing gets lost;
Not a man, not a mouse,
slips through the cracks.
How exquisite your love, O God!
How eager we are to run under your wings"
~Psalm 36:5-7a, The Message

Were You Wondering, Too?

A friend emailed me recently and said something to the effect of, "Your blog sounds like you're doing great, but how are you really doing?" (Thanks, Lisa!) I emailed back and told her that was definitely an email from someone who's lived on the other side of the world before, and someone who also currently lives away from her family. :-)

So, in case you were wondering how I'm really doing, too, here it is.

I'm actually doing well. :-) I do have a tendency to protect my family from any sadness and hard times I might feel by not going into tremendous detail, especially when they are so far away and can't do a thing about it!

I do have moments/sections of days that are really sad. I miss my family so much. I miss my friends so much. I miss loading my kids in the car, driving to Target, strapping them both in a basket, and walking around getting the things I need. And knowing where those things are in the store.

I'm tired of carrying Levi on my back everywhere we go (unless Justin's with us, then he does it). I'm tired of going to the grocery store and only being able to get as much as I can carry with a child on my back and chasing after a straying 3-year-old.

We're finally moving out of that stage where it feels like a vacation. We've been here for 3 1/2 weeks now, so the reality of it all is starting to sink in.

But, overall, I'm really glad to be here. Honestly. I'm in a very healthy place emotionally and mentally, which is what I prayed for so often last Spring when I wasn't. And what so many people have been praying for me!

Do I wish I could call my mom 4 times a day and ask her any number of questions and tell her random things the boys are doing? Yes! Do I wish I was going to be there when my sister goes into labor sometime in the next few weeks? Of course! Do I wish I could go get Sonic Jr. Candy Sundaes and go hang out with my friend, Kim, and her sweet kids? You betcha!

But that's where we're at right now, and I'm okay with that. God has really blessed us and given us friends here already that care about us and are going through this experience at the same time. We definitely feel protected and loved. And we are!

So, thanks for all your concern, spoken or not. I'm sure things will get harder in some ways and easier in others. There will still be sad times about things I'm missing back home, and there will be special things we'll experience here that never would have been possible there.

And did you know that you can fly from Houston to Singapore for under $700. It's true. :-)

Come see us! We have a guest room that we'd love to fill anytime!

Sweet Moments

I was having a sweet moment with Levi earlier. I went to get the boys and tell them lunch was ready, and Levi grabbed my hand and wanted to hold it as we walked into the kitchen. I basking in this moment and was in the middle of telling Levi how much I like it when he wanted to hold me my hand when WHACK...my older son threw a ball at me. Moment over.

Hold onto the sweet moments...they don't last long. It's kinda like life...you're cruising along enjoying the serenity and good times when life throws a ball and whacks you in the back when you weren't looking.

Here, for your reading enjoyment, are interesting things Caleb has said lately. (The list is ever growing!)

1. "On my birthday I want to get a window tatoo." (ooooookay.)

2. "Mom, on your birthday, I want you to get a new washing machine and dryer." (this was after we saw a commercial about Tide. I wonder if he wants me to get the front-loading kind because that would be awesome. But how about the birthday after we get back from Singapore, Caleb?)

3. "Mom, after we go to Singapore, I want to go to China and meet Kai Lan." (sure thing, Caleb. I'll put meeting cartoon characters on my to-do list right after winning the lottery.)

4. Looking out in the backyard, I see Caleb playing with our honeysuckle vine.
me: Caleb, what are you doing?
Caleb: I'm trying to swing.

5. "Mommy, when is our car going to be a racecar?"

6. "Mommy, how fast are we going?"
"40, Caleb. That's the speed limit."
"When are we going to go five-ty?"

7. We've been trying to explain to Caleb that toys cost money and that Daddy goes to work so we can have money. He didn't quite get the whole concept.
Caleb: "I want a monkey that plays with play-doh." (the Coco-Nutty Play-Doh Monkey)
us: "Well, we don't have money for that right now."
Caleb: "I want to go to the store and buy some money."
us: "That's not how it works. Daddy has to go to work to earn money."
Caleb: "Daddy, when are you going to work?"
Daddy: "We have to buy food first, Caleb, before toys."
the next day...
Caleb calls Daddy at work.
Caleb: "Daddy are you done with food yet?"

8. "Mommy, why did I come out of your tummy?" (he asked this one as I was typing this post.)

Never a dull moment around here!

Finally...Peace

PICTURES AT THE END!!! (I know you're happy about that, Mom!)

Things have really settled down around here and inside me. Lots of people have been praying for me, and I can feel the difference. Just a few weeks ago I was suffering debilitating anxiety about our move (complete with nausea every time we talked about Singapore), but God has truly given me a sense of peace about everything that is coming. He has blessed my socks off by putting me in touch with a woman who is the wife of Justin's co-worker and also going to Singapore. (Hi, Andrea!) I finally feel like the range of emotions I'm feeling are normal for anyone in my situation...moving a family to the other side of the world. I feel more excited than scared now and THAT is truly a miracle!

A young couple came to look at our house on Sunday, and I'm praying that it will work out for them. I'd love nothing more than for a young couple wanting to start a family to move into this house. Justin and I were in that same situation when we bought this house, and it has been such a blessing living here.

My counselor strongly suggested that Justin and I have a weekend away before our move since that won't be possible again for quite a long time. Since Justin is now scheduled to go to Singapore for a week ONE MONTH before we move, I'm not sure that's possible! Our to-do list just keeps getting longer instead of shorter. We have a lot to do before June 1!

I wish you all could see the boys' passport photos. They were wearing matching sweaters and have the exact same expression on their face. They look like twins, and really the only way to tell them apart is that Levi has brown eyes and Caleb's are blue. It's pretty funny.

Levi has taken to calling Justin and I both Mommy. He refuses to say Daddy, even though that was his first word. He won't do it, which I think is a little funny. When I was loading the pictures below he kept yelling, "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy." He was talking about Justin. hehehe.

Ok, as promised in my last post, I found some pictures that you haven't seen yet.

Levi and his sweet little face...

Big, (finally) toothy grin!

This was Levi's reaction when I said, "Did you make a mess?" :-)

Our little super hero. Outfit chosen by Caleb. This might be blackmail later in his life. hehe.

Justin and I had a great date night last Friday and drove up to College Station for the Third Day concert (one of our favorite bands). We got to meet the band before the show. Even Justin commented about how blue Mac Powell's eyes are...it actually shocked me when he lifted his head and looked me in the eye. They are that blue.

Us before the concert. It was terribly windy and cold (it was an outdoor ampitheater).

Mac on stage...

Things are well here...thank the Lord!