...as a mother.
Caleb has a stomach virus. Luckily the vomiting has stopped. And hopefully we'll get more sleep tonight than we did last night.
Sunday, December 31, 2006
Thursday, December 28, 2006
Still Struggling with The Decision
Well, I've been reading and researching this whole VBAC issue. It's really hard to find unbiased books and articles on the subject, so I'm trying to take everything at face value and get information. Yesterday I was leaning one way, and today after talking with my family physician at my check-up, I'm leaning the other way. It's hard to know what to do since I have no way of knowing ahead of time what will happen if I try to labor on my own and not do a repeat cesarean.
I'm praying that God would make it abundantly clear which way I should go. I'm praying a lot.
I think I'm going to visit with a couple of doctors in the next few weeks and go from there. I know that I would have more success with a VBAC at a birth center with a midwife rather than in a hospital setting (my labor at the hospital last time was anything but ideal), but with a prior cesarean and a husband who is not comfortable with that, I just can't go for that option.
So, anyway, that's where I'm at. I'm mourning the fact that I may never go into labor again. I'm aware that if I choose a VBAC, I may still end up with another cesarean. We live in one of the least "granola" areas of the country, so I have yet to hear of a doctor in this city that will do a VBAC (I know I can find one if we choose that option). So many things to consider.
I really appreciate all your comments and personal email about this subject. Thanks for being so kind and sharing your experiences with me. We're in uncharted waters here; your perspectives are a lifeline.
I'm praying that God would make it abundantly clear which way I should go. I'm praying a lot.
I think I'm going to visit with a couple of doctors in the next few weeks and go from there. I know that I would have more success with a VBAC at a birth center with a midwife rather than in a hospital setting (my labor at the hospital last time was anything but ideal), but with a prior cesarean and a husband who is not comfortable with that, I just can't go for that option.
So, anyway, that's where I'm at. I'm mourning the fact that I may never go into labor again. I'm aware that if I choose a VBAC, I may still end up with another cesarean. We live in one of the least "granola" areas of the country, so I have yet to hear of a doctor in this city that will do a VBAC (I know I can find one if we choose that option). So many things to consider.
I really appreciate all your comments and personal email about this subject. Thanks for being so kind and sharing your experiences with me. We're in uncharted waters here; your perspectives are a lifeline.
Friday, December 22, 2006
Fall Into Reading Challenge Finish Line
Well, I didn't finish most of the books on my original list. Is anyone really surprised? It was a pretty aggressive list, but the books will still remain on my "I hope to read someday soon list."
Books I actually finished:
Divine by Karen Kingsbury
The Hiding Place by Corrie ten Boom
Wisdom for Mothers Bible Study by Denise Glenn (I actually skipped the last part about working outside the home because it doesn't apply to me at this time. It also talked about serving in other capacities outside the home and keeping your priorities in order, and I feel I'm doing okay in that area right now. I'll probably have to re-visit it later).
Books I've started:
A Mother's Heartby Jean Fleming
The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie O'Martian
Soul Survivor by Philip Yancey
Unveiling Glory by Jeff Childers and Frederick Aquino
Lord, Teach Me to Study the Bible in 28 Days by Kay Arthur (I'm almost done with this)
Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
Our trip to Hawaii brought another book into my hands: The Ultimate Kauai Guidebook.
Life circumstances and decisions about health have brought me to some other books I'm in the process of reading:
Birth after Cesarean: The Medical Facts by Dr. Bruce L. Flamm
The VBAC Companion by Diana Korte
Ina May's Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin
The Maker's Diet by Dr. Jordan Rubin
Breaking Free Bible Study by Beth Moore
(remember this post? Again, I'm not pregnant. Yet. Just getting all the facts.)
So, there it is. I'm reading. Sometimes slowly, but always surely. There's so much to read and so little time these days in which to do it!
See how the others did over at Katrina's blog!
Books I actually finished:
Divine by Karen Kingsbury
The Hiding Place by Corrie ten Boom
Wisdom for Mothers Bible Study by Denise Glenn (I actually skipped the last part about working outside the home because it doesn't apply to me at this time. It also talked about serving in other capacities outside the home and keeping your priorities in order, and I feel I'm doing okay in that area right now. I'll probably have to re-visit it later).
Books I've started:
A Mother's Heartby Jean Fleming
The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie O'Martian
Soul Survivor by Philip Yancey
Unveiling Glory by Jeff Childers and Frederick Aquino
Lord, Teach Me to Study the Bible in 28 Days by Kay Arthur (I'm almost done with this)
Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
Our trip to Hawaii brought another book into my hands: The Ultimate Kauai Guidebook.
Life circumstances and decisions about health have brought me to some other books I'm in the process of reading:
Birth after Cesarean: The Medical Facts by Dr. Bruce L. Flamm
The VBAC Companion by Diana Korte
Ina May's Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin
The Maker's Diet by Dr. Jordan Rubin
Breaking Free Bible Study by Beth Moore
(remember this post? Again, I'm not pregnant. Yet. Just getting all the facts.)
So, there it is. I'm reading. Sometimes slowly, but always surely. There's so much to read and so little time these days in which to do it!
See how the others did over at Katrina's blog!
Thursday, December 21, 2006
Merry Christmas!
"He will be a joy and delight to you, and many will rejoice because of his birth." ~Luke 1:14
Merry Christmas from our family to yours!
Rejoicing in Him,
aggiejenn
our actual Christmas card had this same picture and Scripture.
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Enough
As I was driving through town today, picking up the last of my Christmas presents (yay!), I was thinking about the Christmas Tour of Homes. I thought about how when I clicked on the different links, I would find myself in someone else's house, looking at their Christmas trees, decorations, and furniture.
I would notice that so-and-so had a matching sofa set with a beautiful coordinating rug. And so-and-so has such pretty hardwood floors that look freshly polished. And so-and-so really has a sense for decorating; everything looks just like a magazine spread.
And that feeling of inadequacy comes creeping up. Where did that come from? I know, Lord, you have given us so very much. We are so blessed. I know that.
It's the same feeling I had last time I came home from my sister's house. It's beautiful. Everything in her house matches. Not a picture frame or candle holder that doesn't coordinate finds its way onto the shelves. She is so talented at organizing and decorating.
Our house? Well, it's a mismatch of hand-me-down furniture, new furniture, well-used furniture. Pretty much anything anyone gives us finds its way onto the shelves, tables, and countertops. (I definitely inherited the packrat gene from my mother and grandmother; it skipped my sister.) I can't say that our house has a style per say.
I think about my friend whose house is spotless at all times. Even with two kids. Her carpets don't have stains. Dishes don't sit in her sink. The beds are always made. Even when I stop by at a moments notice--nary a speck of dust to be found.
And I feel inadequate as a housekeeper and "stylist" for this home.
Driving around with all this floating through my head, my thoughts traveled back a few years to when I had a group of girls from Students for Christ at my house overnight. I used to teach in a large urban high school where most of the kids were on free and reduced lunch. Broken families were the norm. 15-year-olds getting pregnant was not uncommon. Gangs and drugs were rampant.
The girls wanted a "Ladies Night" retreat sort-of-thing, and instead of paying to stay in a hotel, I offered to let them come to my house.
I didn't think anything of it.
Our house is not huge. It's a normal, modest, one-story house in the suburbs. It's just the right size for us, except the yard is a little small for the dogs. It has three bedrooms, a couple of living areas, and an average size kitchen.
I dream of something bigger. A large island kitchen. Hardwood floors that stretch through the house. Clean carpets. Matching furniture that's comfortable and practical. A bigger yard. The list goes on.
Do you know what I overhead that night the girls stayed at my house?
"This is my dream house!"
I was stopped dead in my tracks. Her dream house? Don't people normally say that about big, fancy mansions with marble and tile and a pool?
Not when you've lived in an apartment all your life with your whole family (extended family, probably) and never had your own space. Not when you share your small bedroom with more than one other person.
I was humbled then and again today when I remembered those words.
Lord, help me to be satisfied with what you have given me. It is more than enough. You are more than enough for me. Thank you for humbling me once again.
I will praise you as long as I live,
and in your name I will lift up my hands.
I would notice that so-and-so had a matching sofa set with a beautiful coordinating rug. And so-and-so has such pretty hardwood floors that look freshly polished. And so-and-so really has a sense for decorating; everything looks just like a magazine spread.
And that feeling of inadequacy comes creeping up. Where did that come from? I know, Lord, you have given us so very much. We are so blessed. I know that.
It's the same feeling I had last time I came home from my sister's house. It's beautiful. Everything in her house matches. Not a picture frame or candle holder that doesn't coordinate finds its way onto the shelves. She is so talented at organizing and decorating.
Our house? Well, it's a mismatch of hand-me-down furniture, new furniture, well-used furniture. Pretty much anything anyone gives us finds its way onto the shelves, tables, and countertops. (I definitely inherited the packrat gene from my mother and grandmother; it skipped my sister.) I can't say that our house has a style per say.
I think about my friend whose house is spotless at all times. Even with two kids. Her carpets don't have stains. Dishes don't sit in her sink. The beds are always made. Even when I stop by at a moments notice--nary a speck of dust to be found.
And I feel inadequate as a housekeeper and "stylist" for this home.
Driving around with all this floating through my head, my thoughts traveled back a few years to when I had a group of girls from Students for Christ at my house overnight. I used to teach in a large urban high school where most of the kids were on free and reduced lunch. Broken families were the norm. 15-year-olds getting pregnant was not uncommon. Gangs and drugs were rampant.
The girls wanted a "Ladies Night" retreat sort-of-thing, and instead of paying to stay in a hotel, I offered to let them come to my house.
I didn't think anything of it.
Our house is not huge. It's a normal, modest, one-story house in the suburbs. It's just the right size for us, except the yard is a little small for the dogs. It has three bedrooms, a couple of living areas, and an average size kitchen.
I dream of something bigger. A large island kitchen. Hardwood floors that stretch through the house. Clean carpets. Matching furniture that's comfortable and practical. A bigger yard. The list goes on.
Do you know what I overhead that night the girls stayed at my house?
"This is my dream house!"
I was stopped dead in my tracks. Her dream house? Don't people normally say that about big, fancy mansions with marble and tile and a pool?
Not when you've lived in an apartment all your life with your whole family (extended family, probably) and never had your own space. Not when you share your small bedroom with more than one other person.
I was humbled then and again today when I remembered those words.
Lord, help me to be satisfied with what you have given me. It is more than enough. You are more than enough for me. Thank you for humbling me once again.
I will praise you as long as I live,
and in your name I will lift up my hands.
My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods;
with singing lips my mouth will praise you.
On my bed I remember you;
I think of you through the watches of the night.
Because you are my help,
I sing in the shadow of your wings.
My soul clings to you;
your right hand upholds me.
Monday, December 18, 2006
Will I Ever Finish Christmas Shopping?
Probably not. We tried really hard on Saturday to finish up the few gifts we needed to get. We ate lunch and headed to our first stop where my body decided I didn't need to finish shopping and launched me into a stomach escapade for almost the next 24 hours.
Sunday afternoon we try again. We head to the mall to eat lunch and let Caleb get a picture with Santa, which did not go well. Caleb needed a nap and Lifeway is closed on Sunday (when will I ever remember that???), so we headed home to put Caleb down and I went out shopping by myself.
We finished most of the shopping last night, and now I have to wait for a package to come in the mail today so I can repackage stuff and mail a box of wrapped Christmas presents to hubby's mom's house in time for Christmas. It's a good thing I bought all of Caleb's presents earlier this year and they are patiently waiting in the top of his closet for me to wrap.
Maybe next year I'll get my act together?
Sunday afternoon we try again. We head to the mall to eat lunch and let Caleb get a picture with Santa, which did not go well. Caleb needed a nap and Lifeway is closed on Sunday (when will I ever remember that???), so we headed home to put Caleb down and I went out shopping by myself.
We finished most of the shopping last night, and now I have to wait for a package to come in the mail today so I can repackage stuff and mail a box of wrapped Christmas presents to hubby's mom's house in time for Christmas. It's a good thing I bought all of Caleb's presents earlier this year and they are patiently waiting in the top of his closet for me to wrap.
Maybe next year I'll get my act together?
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Christmas Tour of Homes
Welcome to my Home!
Our tree...you'll notice it's only decorated half-way down! Thanks, Caleb. :-)
The centerpiece of my mantle. My grandmother gave this angel to me a couple of years ago. She has one just like it that she's had for years, and she was thrilled when she found one for my sister and me as well.
Stockings hung by the chimney with care...
My mom just finished making Caleb's stocking. She's the talented one in the family! I wish you could see every bead and sequin and stitch on this stocking. It's a work of art, a labor of love.
And, of course, our little Aggie tree. My best friend, Lisa, gave it to me when she moved out of state. We display it proudly in our house!
Some more ornaments from our tree...
This one we got when we went to Hawaii this year. It says "Mele Kalikimaka" (Merry Christmas in Hawaiian). We've continued the tradition hubby's mom started and we try to buy an ornament every year that represents a place we went or something we did together as a family.
This ornament was given to me by my mother-in-law when hubby and I were just dating. I never forget that hubby is not "truly" Texan (because he reminds me of that fact!).
Thanks for stopping by! Head to BooMama's for more home tours!
Have a blessed and Merry Christmas!
A Favorite Ornament
It's hard to choose an ornament from our tree that is my favorite. My mother-in-law started a tradition with her boys of buying them each an ornament that represented a place they visited or something they were involved in that year. Many of them are sports related, some are of trips they took, and there are even ones with school pictures. Her tree is a treasure-trove of memories, and it's so special for the boys to look at all the ornaments and reminisce about the year they got them. She has continued this tradition with us, and I love the ornaments she selects.
Here is the first one we received, our first Christmas as a married couple:
Our very first Christmas ornament as a couple! I don't know how she finds such unique ornaments, but it is a blessing to us. The year we bought our first home, we received this ornament:
It says, "The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson"
Tomorrow I'll post some more decorations for BooMama's Christmas Tour of Homes.
Check out Mountain Musings tomorrow, Friday the 15th, for more favorite ornament posts! You still have time to write yours up and send her the link (by 9pm tonight).
Here is the first one we received, our first Christmas as a married couple:
Our very first Christmas ornament as a couple! I don't know how she finds such unique ornaments, but it is a blessing to us. The year we bought our first home, we received this ornament:
It says, "The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson"
Tomorrow I'll post some more decorations for BooMama's Christmas Tour of Homes.
Check out Mountain Musings tomorrow, Friday the 15th, for more favorite ornament posts! You still have time to write yours up and send her the link (by 9pm tonight).
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Question
Let me preface this post by saying I'm not pregnant! We are trying to get information for when that time comes again. That's all. :-)
Okay, so here's the deal. I had Caleb by c-section. I knew that would probably mean repeat c-sections. (And, no, it wasn't elective.) I talked to my doctor about whether or not I would have to have c-sections from now on and she said I would.
My question is, "Have any of you had to make this decision? or Have you or anyone very close to you ever had a successful VBAC?"
I do not want to get into a dicussion of which is better, c-section or v*ginal birth. I know the statistics. I know there are way too many c-sections performed in the U.S. today. My cousin is a midwife; I know where they stand on the issue. I'm looking for personal experience from people who've had c-sections.
I have dealt with a lot of guilt over the past year or so about having a c-section. Lots of questions have gone through my mind, such as, "If I had done things differently, would it have turned out differently?" I will never know the answer to that question. When I hear people say things like, "A c-section is not the way God designed it," I feel even more like a failure. I just have to trust that my doctor did what was best for me and for Caleb. That is my main concern--the health of the baby and myself.
So, any of you have experience with this? If I decide against a c-section, I will have to switch doctors. I love my doctor, but I want to make an informed decision about this. Of course, we're praying about what is best for our family. The thought of risking me and/or the baby obviously freaks hubby out, so we want to go the safest route for us all.
Okay, so here's the deal. I had Caleb by c-section. I knew that would probably mean repeat c-sections. (And, no, it wasn't elective.) I talked to my doctor about whether or not I would have to have c-sections from now on and she said I would.
My question is, "Have any of you had to make this decision? or Have you or anyone very close to you ever had a successful VBAC?"
I do not want to get into a dicussion of which is better, c-section or v*ginal birth. I know the statistics. I know there are way too many c-sections performed in the U.S. today. My cousin is a midwife; I know where they stand on the issue. I'm looking for personal experience from people who've had c-sections.
I have dealt with a lot of guilt over the past year or so about having a c-section. Lots of questions have gone through my mind, such as, "If I had done things differently, would it have turned out differently?" I will never know the answer to that question. When I hear people say things like, "A c-section is not the way God designed it," I feel even more like a failure. I just have to trust that my doctor did what was best for me and for Caleb. That is my main concern--the health of the baby and myself.
So, any of you have experience with this? If I decide against a c-section, I will have to switch doctors. I love my doctor, but I want to make an informed decision about this. Of course, we're praying about what is best for our family. The thought of risking me and/or the baby obviously freaks hubby out, so we want to go the safest route for us all.
Welcome, Little One!
My friend, Laura, at Here and Now just had a baby boy this past Saturday! He is PRECIOUS! And Lou is a very proud big sister. :-)
Go see for yourself!
Congratulations, Laura and WonderMan! We're praying for you as you adjust to life as parents of two children and raise them to know and love the Lord. May you "grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be the glory both now and forever! Amen." (2 Peter 3:18)
Sunday, December 10, 2006
Sick Boy
Caleb has been sick for several days. Friday he was running a 103 temp and I took him to the doctor; they found a sore throat that was probably causing the fever. We went out of town this weekend for my sister's shower and today he was running a 103 temp again and coughing like crazy. He pretty much just looks miserable--coughing constantly, runny nose, high fever, walking around the house crying/fussing, unable to be comforted. He didn't sleep well last night because he was coughing so much, so I hope tonight is a better one. We could all use the rest, especially him.
I talked to his doctor this afternoon and he wants to see him tomorrow so they can rule out pneumonia and/or asthma-related problems. We're praying his little body will be all well soon.
Update: We went to the doctor this morning. Caleb has an ear infection in his right ear and his tonsils have white stripes on them. He's still running a pretty constant fever of 101. It's also unclear if his cough is from drainage or some airway constriction problems, so we're going to try and figure that out. He's pretty miserable and sleeping most of the time, which is good because he needs it. He's lost almost a pound since Friday since his throat hurts too bad to eat more than a banana now and then. He'll gain it back once he feels better. Thanks for your prayers; he needs them. I'm going to go rest now since Caleb is sleeping. I'll continue to let you guys know how he's doing.
I talked to his doctor this afternoon and he wants to see him tomorrow so they can rule out pneumonia and/or asthma-related problems. We're praying his little body will be all well soon.
Update: We went to the doctor this morning. Caleb has an ear infection in his right ear and his tonsils have white stripes on them. He's still running a pretty constant fever of 101. It's also unclear if his cough is from drainage or some airway constriction problems, so we're going to try and figure that out. He's pretty miserable and sleeping most of the time, which is good because he needs it. He's lost almost a pound since Friday since his throat hurts too bad to eat more than a banana now and then. He'll gain it back once he feels better. Thanks for your prayers; he needs them. I'm going to go rest now since Caleb is sleeping. I'll continue to let you guys know how he's doing.
Friday, December 08, 2006
I'm Back
We're back from Hawaii! Actually, we've been back since Tuesday, but I've been catching up on housework and loving on Caleb since we returned.
We had a good time; it was nice to spend some uninterrupted time together! It was cloudy 3 of the 5 days we were there and I was sick 2 days (including my birthday, Saturday), but we were still able to enjoy some of the sights. The food was amazing!! (Thanks, Betty, for your recommendations!) I wasn't prepared for the weather...it was actually chilly several days! I wished I had brought a jacket, especially when we went up to the canyon (about 4000 ft.). You just don't think you'll need one in Hawaii, but I guess it is December and all. We stayed on Kauai until Monday and then went to Oahu for the day. It was really warm and sunny there, so we headed to the beach for a couple of hours. I was able to get a little bit of a tan before I returned.
I missed Caleb like CRAZY!! It was harder for me in that respect since I see him all day, every day. He did great for my parents, though, and was hardly fussy at all. That was definitely an answer to our prayers. Caleb woke up this morning saying, "Poppa," so I'm not sure if he prefers us over them anyway. :-)
I'll post more details next week with some stories and pictures. We're giving my sister a baby shower tomorrow, so I'm off to bake some pumpkin bread, pack, and take care of last minute details (oh, and travel to my parent's house...Caleb will think he lives there before too long!).
Have a great weekend!
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