Being a mother has taught me so much about God's love for me, and I'm sure as Caleb gets older that will only continue.
But, my thought today is: Is God trying to teach me about wanting to be in control through mothering? I guess if the answer was "no" I probably wouldn't be asking. :-) I realized today, as Caleb is struggling to get back into a sleeping pattern, that I want so badly to control the things in our lives. I desperately want and need him to sleep, preferably on my schedule. When he does, I can do the necessary things in life (like shower). Seriously, though, I know I have a hard time giving life totally over to God. Letting go goes against my need for instant gratification and my tendency toward impatience; if I let Him handle it, there's no telling when He will let it come to fruition. Oh, the error of my ways.
I really hate it when I learn things about myself that I don't like. But, thank you, Lord, for pointing them out so I can begin to change.
"In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps." Proverbs 16:9
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2 comments:
God is still teaching me so much about "control" and mothering--it probably is somewhat because I was a total control freak before I started having kids--and so I had soooo much to learn!
I like your name *aggiejen*! I use Aggie-Ed for my son--he's currently at A&M--he loves A&M!!!
It seems like God always lets you stay a little ahead of me so I can learn from you. Thank you for being such a good example of a godly mother and a humble, open friend. I love you, Jennifer.
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