Thursday, February 18, 2010

My Broken Ankle: The Emotions

The emotions I've felt as I've dealt with this accident are varied, as you'd probably imagine.

As soon as I hit the pavement on Friday morning and knew my ankle was broken, my thought immediately went to my two kids and how I would take care of them. It's pretty much the only thing I said in the emergency room (other than "10, my pain is a 10!!")...I have two little boys. When Justin came in to see me, it was the first thing I asked him, "How are we going to do this?" I felt so helpless because a broken ankle isn't like a broken arm where I could still basically take care of them and chase after them, and when you live in a place where walking is a huge part of your day, this is major.

My time in the hospital was pretty dark. I told Justin when we finally got in bed at home on Sunday night that I really was struggling with depression over this situation. Since we don't have full-time household help like many families in Singapore and we don't have family nearby, the decisions we needed to make to ensure we could handle this were huge. And the help we were going to need was enormous. And I was completely overwhelmed.

No longer could I take the kids to school and walk to the bus stop and go home.

No longer could I go to the grocery store and walk around and get the things we need.

No longer could I...

You see where my mind was going, constantly. Not a healthy place.

But sometime Monday things seemed to look up a little. And each day has been a little easier. Due in large part to the way God has used our friends, who have been non-stop in their offers of help. Bringing meals, offering rides, asking to bring my kids to their houses to play, encouraging me, asking what we need and fulfilling whatever that is.

One Scripture I memorized last year keeps coming to mind:

"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
And through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you.
When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned,
and the flame will not set you ablaze." ~Isaiah 43:2

I like the New Living Translation of that one as well:

"When you go through deep waters,
I will be with you.
When you go through rivers of difficulty,
you will not drown.
When you walk through the fire of oppression,
you will not be burned up;
the flames will not consume you."

Because these are deep waters and rivers of difficulty. But God is with us. And we will not drown.


Camille, Blake and Pierce said...

Praying for you sweet sister and will continue... thanks for sharing with us your true feelings...

Dave and Lisa said...

Amen, Jennifer! You will not drown! I love you, friend!

Melanie said...

Wish I could help makes it a bit tough. But you are in my prayers and you are ONE STRONG LADY! Already dealing with it better than I would have.

Stacey at Living by Faith said...

Your faith is awesome and inspiring! I admire your openness and honesty. You are in my prayers!

Titcha said...

This is Titcha, the girl whom you met in Chiang Mai ages ago. I just want to say that the same thing happened to me in college when I couldn't walk for a semester.God taught me a lot from that experience and things worked out miraculously somehow.You and your family will be in my prayer.

Amaris in Wonderland said...

I saw what happened. God has you in the palm of His healing hand.

This verse reminded me of your situation. :)

"I took you from the ends of the earth, from its farthest corners I called you. I said, 'You are my servant'; I have chosen you and have not rejected you.

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

~ Isaiah 41:9-10 (NIV)

Erica said...

I will be praying that the Lord will overwhelm you with His presence. I have found that when the Lord slows us down, there is always a reason. It's kind of exciting to see what that reason is : )

Reflecting Him

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