Better

Thanks for all the encouragement on my last post! I wrote down every single Scripture so I can refer to them often. You guys are the best. I'm doing much better now, but I know those days will come again, so I have your encouraging words ready!

Big news for our family...As of 1:30pm CST on Friday, March 19, we are no longer homeowners. :-) It's a little weird not owning a house anymore, but it's a good thing for us. We will miss the house we brought both of our boys home to, but we look forward to more memories in a different house when we return to the US.

We also just bought our plane tickets for our visit to Texas in June. The boys and I will go back a couple of weeks earlier than Justin so he doesn't have to take so much time off work. We are looking forward to seeing all the people we love and miss so much. And we're also looking forward to eating BBQ, Mexican food, Chic-Fil-A, steak and Blue Bell ice cream.

My parents will be here in less than 3 weeks (the first family members we've seen in 10 months!)!!! We are so excited we can hardly stand it! The list of things I want from the US keeps growing, so we'll see if they have room for it all. ;-) We're not sure how much we'll be able to do while they're here with my bum ankle, but just being together will be so good.


So, this is what our floor looks like most days now. :-)
And here's Caleb with leaves taped to his arms. This was his attempt to fly. (He was really disappointed that he didn't get off the ground.) :-)

Discouraged

I've been in a bad mood today. I'm 5 weeks out from the surgery, and I'm realizing that this is going to be a very long recovery process. When they told me I couldn't bear weight on my foot for 6 weeks, I think I let that 6-week mark concrete in my brain, which wasn't a good idea.

I cannot bear any weight on my foot for 6 weeks. That doesn't mean I'll be walking normally any time soon. I return to the doctor next Friday, the 26th, and I can start putting partial pressure on my foot. I won't be able to get rid of my crutches, which I think was my initial thought.

Right now I'm trying to stretch my ankle and press my foot against things to increase my range of motion. This hurts. I don't feel like I'm making any progress, and that is so discouraging and frustrating.

I'm tired.

I'm tired of not being able to do things for myself. I'm tired of not being able to go anywhere by myself. I'm tired of asking my kids to go and get things for me or do things for me. I'm tired of having to really limit my schedule because I get tired so easily. And I'm just tired. (Did I mention that?) My body hurts, especially between my shoulder blades.

I really don't want to have a pity party, but I just want to be honest. I've been pretty upbeat about the whole thing so far (most of the time, but especially here on the blog), and today I'm just not feeling it.

I know Satan would like nothing more than for this discouragement to defeat me. Would you mind putting a Scripture in the comments section that would encourage me? I'd really appreciate it.

Verse Five

I'm still memorizing my passage from Daniel 2,

"He reveals deep and hidden things. He knows what lies in darkness, and light dwells with him." -Daniel 2:22 NIV

but I'm also going to work on this one:

"And those who walk in pride He is able to humble." -Daniel 4:37 NIV

Part of our lessons on Daniel lately have been about pride. God was really stepping on my toes through those lessons, and I realized there's a lot of pride in my heart. It's not pretty. I need His Word to help counteract the thoughts in my head. I'd certainly rather hide His Word in my heart and get rid of this pride than be humbled by Him.

So, what are you memorizing/meditating on/studying lately?

Appropriate

Justin and I are reading 365 Daily Devotions for Couples. Earlier this week we read one that was so appropriate for what we're going through that I laughed out loud. I thought I'd post it here.

"Whatever this year may bring, you do not have to face it alone. You have a partner and a helper to rejoice with and receive strength from in good times and bad.

This gives you an enormous advantage: What one of you cannot do, the other can; what one of you fears, the other does not.

Listen to your partner, discuss every decision together, and give thanks for the varying abilities you bring to your marriage. You will prosper as a team.

Lord, we realize that we are stronger and smarter when we work together on a problem. Please remind us of this anytime we are tempted to "take over" or impose our own ways on each other."

Now that we're several days past this and it's not almost midnight, it doesn't seem quite as funny. I think it struck me funny because we had just been talking about how I'm tired of being the needy one in the family. Between the depression, bouts of anxiety, and now the broken ankle, I feel like I'm always the one who is on the receiving end. That and the fact that "what one cannot do" is pretty much everything these days. :-)

Then the Lord God said, "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper as his partner." -Genesis 2:18 NRSV


And a totally unrelated picture: My boys rarely watch TV anymore, but the other morning we turned it on and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse was on. They both had to run to their rooms and grab their Mickeys to watch with them. Cute, cute.

Oh Man, These Kids

I do love 'em.

A few days ago I put Levi to bed and at 9:10 he was still awake. He called me into his room, and when I got in there (not too happy that he was still awake at this hour) he wanted to say a prayer for my leg to get better. My two-year-old praying for me? I think my heart melted right there.

This morning Caleb came out of his room and the very first words out of his mouth were, "Momma, I want to go outside and find some big leaves. I want to put tape on both sides so I can fly." In his little 4-year-old mind he could strap some big leaves to his arms and fly. Oh to have such an imagination. This evening he went to the playground with his Daddy and came back with two leaves. Big ones in his mind, but nowhere near the size needed to lift a person off the ground. He wants to tape them to his arms and go to school tomorrow and show everyone how he can fly. I can hardly stop laughing about the absurdity of it. But I love that he thinks like that.

You know what's sad? I can't go check on my kids while they're sleeping anymore. I used to go in there every night after they were sleeping, before I went to bed, to look at them and cover them up. Now my crutches are so loud on our hard floors that it wakes them up. I hate that I can't go in their rooms. So ready to be crutch-free!

Here's a video that Caleb LOVES! He made us watch it twice in a row tonight. He's definitely our little engineer!



And here's a sweet video of Caleb talking about life stuff. :-) He sometimes talks like a baby because he wants to, just so you know.

Life According to Caleb from Jennifer ReflectingHim on Vimeo.

Ankle Video

A short video of my ankle scars for those that care to see it. :-)

Ankle Video from Jennifer ReflectingHim on Vimeo.

Field Trip: Kids Kampong Fishing Fun

I went with the boys today on their field trip to Kids Kampong Fishing Fun in Pasir Ris. The teachers were so helpful to me and to the boys!

I had several parents and teachers comment to me that my boys are so calm and independent. They were so content to just be by themselves and didn't make a fuss about anything. What a blessing they are! Thank you, Lord!

Here is Levi with Miss Alice, "fishing":


Caleb and Miss Gangga fishing:


Levi:


Levi standing to the side of the koi tank, unsure about all this:

feeding koi in the tank:

Caleb feeding the koi

Feeding the rabbits:

Caleb trying to feed the goose (his arms were too short!):

What a fun morning! I was glad to be able to go with them on their field trip, bum leg and all. :-)

My Broken Ankle: How My Kids Are Doing

Lots of people are wondering how our kids are handling their mommy not being able to walk, carry them, and generally do things for them.

They are handling it beautifully; I'm so proud of them and amazed at their ability to adapt. They've had to adapt to a lot in their short little lives. :-)

I was talking to a Singaporean lady yesterday at Bible study and she asked how the boys were handling it. I told her that I had realized through this just how much the structure and discipline we've instilled in them has paid off already. When I ask them to get something or tell them to do something, they listen. Her response?

"They listen? They're 2 and 4 and they listen??"

Yes, they do. We've taught them to obey and that there are consequences to not obeying. They may not obey the first time (they are preschoolers!), but they do obey because that's what we've taught them. If we had waited until later to do that, this situation would be a nightmare trying to control two uncontrollable children.

If I tell one of the boys to go to time-out, they go. They may cry and fuss their way to their time-out spot, but they go. I cannot carry Levi kicking and screaming to his room for naptime or time-out, so I'm thankful we've already established this pattern!

So, here's what a typical day looks like these days (I'll do Thursday, for example):

7:00am-Levi wakes up and I crutch to his door, open it and tell him to come out (he's in a toddler bed now)
7:10am-I get Levi breakfast (Justin sets out the bowls and cereal before work, so we just have to get the milk)
7:30-Caleb wakes up, eats breakfast.
7:45-I get everyone dressed (this takes a while!)
8:15-we get our shoes on and head down to the lobby (a FAR walk on crutches!)
8:30-the school van picks the boys up for school (T,W,Th)
8:30-9:00-I sit downstairs and wait for a friend to pick me up for Bible study (it's too hard to go back up to the apartment and come all the way back down)
9:00-off to the church for study
12:00pm-back home to rest up for getting the boys from the school bus
1:00-boys off the bus
1:15-Levi goes to his room for a nap
1:20-I have to go back and cover him up
1:30-I have to go back and cover him up :-)
2:00-4:00-Levi naps and Caleb plays computer games or colors; I rest
4:00-Levi wakes up (usually, sometimes it's later...yay for me!)
4:00-6:00-we get a snack, we color, we read, we play games (all things I do sitting down, obviously)
6:00-Daddy gets home!!!
6:20ish--Daddy heats up dinner (that's been prepared by our lovely friends), sets the table, gets everyone drinks, brings me a chair and pillow to prop up my leg
6:45-8:00--Daddy plays with the boys, gives them baths
8:00-Daddy does the dishes and other domestic things Mommy cannot do, like laundry
9:00-Daddy goes running
10:00pm--Daddy supervises me getting into and out of the shower so I do not slip on the very slippery marble tile. It's dangerous for me to attempt to shower while home alone right now.
11:00-we fall into bed exhausted (especially Daddy!)

We've all made adjustments during this time, and things are going quite well. Justin, once again, has picked up an enormous amount of slack. I have a super husband!! Seriously. He's amazing.

The kids are doing so well and know that Mommy cannot do lots of things. Levi has to crawl onto the couch for me to change his diaper, they both have to bring me fruit to cut up for them at the table or packages to open for snack, and when they have a problem they have to come to me instead of the other way around.

We're so blessed.

“Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” -Psalm 73:25-26