About that article

Thanks to all of you who shared your thoughts about the article in this post. I promised you my thoughts, so here they are.

I have only recently begun to accept that my main ministry is to my family. I have always known that I wanted to stay home with any children that we were blessed to have, but seeing that as my ministry wasn't a natural thought process for me. I have learned so much in the last few months from Ann at Holy Experience and Laura at Here and Now. Ann wrote recently (May 17) that "Waves lap…wind brushes by…trees rustle and dance and wave. All of Earth sings Your praises. In rhythmic, daily constancy. Without end. Quotidian praises to You. Quotidian: occurring or returning daily. Over and over and over again. Like the work I do: cooking meals, baking bread, hanging laundry, changing diapers, sweeping dirt. Quotidian work. Like the endless waves lapping on the shore, quietly lilting its song of adoration, so we dance our quotidian dance of praise: dishes and dusting, laundry and… liturgy."

I have struggled with these new roles I find myself in. Deciding that cleaning and laundry and changing diapers is my ministry has not been easy. I love my husband and I love my son, but this list of things I do not love. Sacrifice. Worship. Quotidian work. Again, Ann encourages me with her words: "I frame this cleaning as my monastic beauty, my daily wrestle, to create, in imperfect ways, a world for these loved ones... like You created so perfectly for humanity when the world began...."

It's not easy, this ministry of mine. But I have learned to find the utter joy in it. I struggle daily with my attitude, but am learning to think of everything I do around this house for my family as worshiping my Father. He has graced me and blessed me with this family; my thanks to Him comes in the form of laundry and dishes and dusting and diapers. It blesses my family and it blesses me.

Recently I was made to feel guilty for not volunteering to participate in our church's VBS coming up in a couple of weeks. I've been begged on more than one occasion to teach that week. I never had a good feeling about it, and I put off giving an answer. I had been mulling over some things in my head and didn't want to give an answer until I was sure my guilty feelings were not just from a desire to be anywhere else that week but at the church building. Finally, I was prepared. Again, I was begged to please come and help. I know they need help, and I desperately wanted to answer that plea with a resounding, "Yes, I'll come save you and teach those precious children at VBS!" But, I just couldn't. Why? Because my son would suffer. VBS is from 9-12 for 5 days in a row. That is naptime and lunchtime for my little sweetie. One day wouldn't hurt him, but 5 days in a row of a messed-up schedule would be torture. My main ministry is to my family; everything else comes second to them.

What I first read the journal, I wasn't sure what to think. I don't agree with all the points, but am thankful to have read it and considered my ministry opportunities here at home.

I do participate in ministries at church, go to Bible study weekly away from home, and occasionally need to get out of the house or spend some time alone. I don't think these things are bad or sinful. In fact, it's a good time for some "daddy time" with Caleb without me trying to tell him how to do everything the "right" way. The vast majority of my time, though, is spent with and for my family. My attitude about everything is really what matters. If I fulfill my ministry at home begrudingly and desire more and more opportunities to be away from home, I am not heeding God's call on my life. My attitude toward serving my husband and my son are of utmost importance. God is glorified when I serve my family humbly with love. I'm still learning how to do this. Every day.

Updated to add: This turned out much longer than I expected! Thanks for reading it if you made it all the way through!