Several of the blogs I read are taking part in the Honor Your Husband Challenge. I'm not "officially" participating, but reading their posts has definitely made me think about our marriage, and, mainly, my attitude about certain things.
I have a BAD attitude about what time Justin gets home from work. BAD attitude. I have mastered the whole "pity me because I'm pregnant, have a toddler to take care of, need to have dinner ready, and want to eat at 6:00 sharp" thing down to an art form. It's sad, really.
I've been harboring a lot of bitterness about this for some time now. I sometimes treat Justin like it's his fault that his job is really stressful, he's in charge of 20+ people, and there are deadlines to meet. (I'm definitely not living up to that part in our vows where I said I would serve him with patience and love. Patience really is my weakness.)
And don't get me started on how I feel when other people's husbands are home in time to help with prepping dinner or to take care of the kids while dinner is being made. Bitter comes to mind.
So, I really need to work on this. It doesn't do me any good to be bitter about it or get angry with Justin when he's not home when I want him to be home. It's the way things are, and I can't change the facts. I can, however, change my attitude, which needs a serious adjustment.
I'll be working on my attitude and actually being an encouragement and support to Justin instead of being bitter and counting the number of hours he's been gone.
That and actually going to the grocery store and cooking dinner several nights in a row for a change.
9 comments:
(((Jenn))) I feel your pain. I have two littles that seem to insist that their dinner time is between 5-5:30 and we don't see Travis until usually after 6 p.m. I was getting so frustrated trying to keep the girls from getting so cranky and wait to feed them with him. Now I feed them at their dinner time, and have Travis' ready when he walks in the door, and it's much more peaceful. Not the optimal dinner arrangement in my book because I'd like us to all eat together, but it's working for right now.
Hmmm...I feel like part of this may have been directed at me. ;) I am one of the lucky ones who usually has their husband home early. I know it's frustrating, but I am sure Justin would appreciate your patience. You know he would like to be home earlier too.
Yep, attitude is a struggle. Praying for you girl!
I feel your pain, girl! It is so bad around here that if my daughter comes in and sees me fixing dinner, she immediately says "Oh I guess Daddy will be late tonight!" It is hard to go to the trouble of fixing a nice dinner and your efforts seem to be unappreciated. I constantly have to remind myself that he would rather be home with us but puts in the long hours FOR US! Do you think this is how God feels when he gives us so many blessings and we don't take the time to pray and thank him?
Oh Jenn, I am sorry this is such a hard time for you. But the other comments people have been leaving are good. I think there are a lot of women out there who can commiserate with you! Dave's working on a project right now and getting home between 8:30-9:00pm. I told him yesterday that it's hard to have him gone for 15 hours at a time! But I know that's the way it has to be. May the Lord give you more patience and help you to think about this situation in a new way. Is there any other mom at your church in a similar situation? Maybe you two could have dinners together with your kids and switch off preparing food, then just save plates for your husbands. That's what I'm going with Dave right now because I'm just not able to wait until 9pm to eat dinner, but I will heat it up and sit with him while he eats. Just an idea. Regardless, though, I was blessed by your humility in this post, and I know the Lord will help you!
I love you so much, Lisa
This is my biggest area of struggle as well. I can have the best of intentions in the morning, but by night, when Dave's late, and I'm stressed....look out! :)
I appreciate your honesty, and just want you to know you are not alone!
Blessings,
Joy
Thank you SO much for being real and honest. It's so hard, isn't it? And I know that no matter how hard I try, I'm never going to be perfect at this wife-thing. But again, all I can do is try.
Trust me, there are many things I have a bad attitude about too!
I can sympathize with you. I find myself complaining to Matthew about the hours he works. Then I feel bad about it, its not like he likes to work almost opposite hours from what I do...at least I hope he doesn't.
From the wife of another hard-working, home-after-7 man...I appreciate the honesty here! Those evening hours can be my worst and too often, I don't even choose to ask the Lord for help. I'll be praying for you AND me! :)
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